After looking over a few stories I posted last year, I realize that I definitely need to blog! I don't remember all the details I wrote about, especially with what Kaiden was doing as a baby. So, here I am back in action...ready to blog thoughts and happenings. I realize how many millions of blogs are out there with thousands of followers (a bit intimidating at first), yet with this blog I have only one goal... to share our life so I don't forget and can look back and enjoy the stories.
So...before I get dinner started. Here's a debrief from the last 4 months or so...
*We're finally settled in our new town home and really enjoying it-especially decorating it for Christmas this year
*Kaiden... is now 15 mos old and is walking, jabbering, and constantly cutting teeth since his 1st didn't come in until he was 11 mos old...he's got some catching up to do :) He has such a sweet personality that you immediately notice. You'll also notice, he never stops moving!
*Mike... got a promotion at work. He's now a Captain over the Volunteer Department with Durango Fire and Rescue. He's always wanted to work in admin and he fits this job so well with his ideas and care for people. For our family, it means he works 5 days a week now instead of 24 hour shifts. He only works one evening a week and if he has to pull a Saturday or a long day, he can take another day off during the work. His schedule is a super flexible 40 hour a week one that we are really starting to enjoy and settle in
*Me...we did the math and it was a better move for me NOT to teach this year after the 1/2 hour drive in and home and paying a babysitter, I really wouldn't be bringing any $ home. That was bittersweet because I found a school I love but for this phase in my life, my family is more important. I'm cleaning a few houses on the side to bring in a little money. For now, I'm enjoying the days with my sweet lil guy! We're getting into the play date scene and we both LOVE to get out of the house and do our best to do that often! I had a miscarriage back in October, but time heals. One year old kisses bring healing too! Hopefully we'll see our family grow again this next year sometime, with at least getting a puppy :)
Christmas is now over and it's time to embrace a new year. We were very blessed this Christmas in spite of our lack of extra $. I'll miss the lights, the tree, and most of all the Christmas music. Our goals the rest of the winter-to put laminate wood floor in our dining room instead of carpet (that is getting trashed quickly) and for Kaiden and I to go visit my niece in North Dakota. She hasn't met her awesome Aunt Stephy yet, and that is NOT ok. :)
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My BTD
I like to blog but have yet to find the time to keep up! I am through and through a definite list maker; however, I can't EVEN claim to be able to FIND my 10 lists I make all the time, but nonetheless writing things down helps me process. So here's my personal BTD, "blog to do", of what I want to catch up on writing about. Ha! Maybe this is a brilliant idea to NOT be able to lose this list. :)
Blog to do:
*packing and moving out of our very first apartment-very sentimental for me
*painting and unpacking into our very first home we've bought (including the HUGE job moving and unpacking is-sheesh!), what I'm enjoying about a new town home
*thoughts on my personal lifetime goals- trying to stop worrying and not judging
*our current battle with K's eczema and the terror I woke up to find last night, hurry up Tuesday!
*simple pleasures I love in life
*books I want to read because I keep losing my list of ones I need to order
*update on K at 5 months, including fun Vday poses by yours (creatively) truly. I love my buddy boo so much!
This should keep me busy for a while!!!
Blog to do:
*packing and moving out of our very first apartment-very sentimental for me
*painting and unpacking into our very first home we've bought (including the HUGE job moving and unpacking is-sheesh!), what I'm enjoying about a new town home
*thoughts on my personal lifetime goals- trying to stop worrying and not judging
*our current battle with K's eczema and the terror I woke up to find last night, hurry up Tuesday!
*simple pleasures I love in life
*books I want to read because I keep losing my list of ones I need to order
*update on K at 5 months, including fun Vday poses by yours (creatively) truly. I love my buddy boo so much!
This should keep me busy for a while!!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Rollin', rollin', rollin'
Today Kaiden figured out how to rollover from his tummy to his back! It's pretty cute because he tries to suck on his fingers when he's on his tummy, which then helps him to roll over. He seem to think it's pretty fun.A few first he's started doing:
*he's found his giggle, it's no longer a cough when he gets tickled! So sweet.
* he's found his fingers and doesn't try just to shove his WHOLE fist in his mouth, progress for sure.
*he's started sleeping 10:30-6 through the night...a big thanks to my co-worker Heidi for the pep talk she gave me to work at it!
Is it crazy to be excited when we can give Kaiden a little brother or sister? I'm so looking forward to having more kids!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
It Matters To Him
Cast all your care on Him, because it matters to Him.
A verse that lives deep in my core. This was verse was part of a word given to me years ago at an IHOP conference prophetic time. The word was that God had NOT forgotten me and I was NOT left out. Something I always seem to struggle with...
Today I blog because I want to look back at this blog and remember all the things I learn from, struggle with, and grow in during my life.
Here I am 5+ years later, still clinging to that verse with EXCITEMENT and deep TRUST in my relationship with God. He hasn't forgotten me... and has given me a FANTASTIC husband who is willing to work at making our marriage excel.
It matters to Him...I am back teaching in a Christian school which I have had word upon word prayed over me that this is part of my gifting and calling to do. It's fulfilling.
It matters to Him...He answered my prayer in giving us a child...a son, which was the desire of my heart for a first child.
He's now provided a loan program that literally fell into our lap allowing us to purchase our first home with an AWESOME interest rate when we weren't even looking to buy for several years. Before we even knew about the USDA loan, I was praying for us to be able to buy a home because it looked so impossible at the moment! I hadn't told anyone that I was praying for this,and once again He shows me-It matters to Him...and most recently today I've seen His care yet again.
Mikey and I believe in tithing and do our absolute best to stay consistent at it, and it seems pretty much every time I write a tithe check a week or so later, there's a blessing that comes our way. Whether it was a pay raise, a random check in the mail, or a meal bought...it's pretty amazing. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote our tithe check very nervously. We had company coming and needed to still get groceries and would be using lots of gas, PLUS I hadn't worked over Christmas break and won't get teaching check for another two weeks after school has started back up. We use my teaching checks (not gonna lie on it being the big money check, but it's more so the "I'm happy with my lower paying job" check) for food and gas money. So this week, I'm wondering how we will get groceries and put gas in the cars without credit card-ing it all (something we try so hard to NOT use now). Today I get the mail and there's a refund check from a bill we overpaid last summer... for $500ish!!!! Grocery and bills taken care of again, plus a little fun money too!
Lord, thank you SO much for your amazing care and concern throughout my life and now my family's life.
Thank you for not forgetting.
Thank you for your faithfulness.
Thank you that every big and small detail in our lives MATTERS to you.
A verse that lives deep in my core. This was verse was part of a word given to me years ago at an IHOP conference prophetic time. The word was that God had NOT forgotten me and I was NOT left out. Something I always seem to struggle with...
Today I blog because I want to look back at this blog and remember all the things I learn from, struggle with, and grow in during my life.
Here I am 5+ years later, still clinging to that verse with EXCITEMENT and deep TRUST in my relationship with God. He hasn't forgotten me... and has given me a FANTASTIC husband who is willing to work at making our marriage excel.
It matters to Him...I am back teaching in a Christian school which I have had word upon word prayed over me that this is part of my gifting and calling to do. It's fulfilling.
It matters to Him...He answered my prayer in giving us a child...a son, which was the desire of my heart for a first child.
He's now provided a loan program that literally fell into our lap allowing us to purchase our first home with an AWESOME interest rate when we weren't even looking to buy for several years. Before we even knew about the USDA loan, I was praying for us to be able to buy a home because it looked so impossible at the moment! I hadn't told anyone that I was praying for this,and once again He shows me-It matters to Him...and most recently today I've seen His care yet again.
Mikey and I believe in tithing and do our absolute best to stay consistent at it, and it seems pretty much every time I write a tithe check a week or so later, there's a blessing that comes our way. Whether it was a pay raise, a random check in the mail, or a meal bought...it's pretty amazing. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote our tithe check very nervously. We had company coming and needed to still get groceries and would be using lots of gas, PLUS I hadn't worked over Christmas break and won't get teaching check for another two weeks after school has started back up. We use my teaching checks (not gonna lie on it being the big money check, but it's more so the "I'm happy with my lower paying job" check) for food and gas money. So this week, I'm wondering how we will get groceries and put gas in the cars without credit card-ing it all (something we try so hard to NOT use now). Today I get the mail and there's a refund check from a bill we overpaid last summer... for $500ish!!!! Grocery and bills taken care of again, plus a little fun money too!
Lord, thank you SO much for your amazing care and concern throughout my life and now my family's life.
Thank you for not forgetting.
Thank you for your faithfulness.
Thank you that every big and small detail in our lives MATTERS to you.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The whirlwind that WAS Christmas break
Christmas break....ahh fun (!) but by no means a true BREAK, except from teaching my classes for a couple of weeks :)
Let's see...
*Came down with mastitis again...out of pure boredom, of course-CHECK!
*Got my first cold of the season the same weekend of the mastitis while hubby was on shift every other friggin' day-CHECK!
*Worked on lots of paperwork for purchasing our new exciting home in Bayfield-CHECK!
*Got over the cold, mastitis, and border-line thrush the day before Christmas Eve-CHECK!
*Enjoyed all the gifts Kaiden got this year from both our families-CHECK!
*Enjoyed making birthday cupcakes for baby Jesus and reading the Christmas story to Kaiden-CHECK, CHECK!
*Can't remember everything I enjoyed about Christmas this year-CHECK!
*Husband's aunt, uncle, and cousins came in town to meet Kaiden-CHECK!
*My brothers and sister in law came in town that SAME week to meet Kaiden and stay in our tiny apartment-CHECK!
*Loved spending time with my brothers and sis-in-law, so much I bawled like a baby when I had to take them to the airport. Sigh.-CHECK!
*Got Kaiden's baby book up-to-date...the only project I got done over break-CHECK!
*Back at school now, busy as ever with Student Activities, starting to pack, picking out paint colors, trying to figure out Kaiden's schedule again, trying to think of how I can get to know people while being so sleep deprived and not as socially confident as normal, trying NOT to get stressed about most things in life right, and trying NOT to eat chocolate and sweets-CHECK, CHECK, and CHECK!!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
All I want for Christmas...
Here goes...a little more serious, a little more honest... not the post I was expecting to write next, but...
the holidays spark such emotion in me. Not sure why. Maybe it's the little girl in me, that still loves Christmas lights, the excitement of opening stockings(!), sipping on hot cocoa, watching dancing movies being jealous of those killer moves, decorating a Christmas tree, listeing to stories about the birth of Jesus, and then there's that part of me that still loves to dream.
My dream? I've always wanted a close family, but sadly it's never been a reality. There's a hole that some days seems deeper than most days. This week, it seems deep and makes me sad. I "get along" great with my family there's no serious hatred there, but there's not that dynamic element of LOVING to be around each other. I have to admit I get a tid bit jealous sometimes when I see how much my husband's family stays in contact with each other and how they also truthfully enjoy one another's company. That's what I feel jipped on is being able to enjoy one another's company and being silly, in whatever form your own humor is.
Grant it, I only have brothers for siblings, and guys are not the best at calling just to say hey, plus we live 1000s of miles apart, which is understandable. I love my little brothers and my prego sister-in-law. I enjoy a long-distance friendship with them. They are actually coming to visit next week! It's the first time I can say I have family in town for the holidays. I like that feeling. We always have a great time when we see each other. It's rare for my brother/sister-in-law in North Dakota to be able to get together with Mike and I. Next week will be good...refreshing!
Back to my dream...here it is vulnerable and honest...
I dream of having a family where we have fun traditions of finding a Christmas tree together, singing Christmas carols, having a game night, or all piling on the couch to watch movies. I dream of being able to go shopping with a mom who loves to shop as much as I do and we just chat, chat, and chat about life-what we like, what we don't, latest recipes, how our jobs are going, movies we like, and even get pedicures together. I dream of feeling safe in my dad's embrace and hearing him say how much he loves me. I dream of seeing him happy and not the deep sadness and tiredness from life in his eyes. I dream of extended family getting together for the holidays and laughing at all the stories people tell, not just listening to people talk about how they're barely surviving. I dream of sitting back and watching my family's eye light up because they love life and love each other, not judging each other's flaws or differences. I dream of feeling at home with my family. I dream. I come back to reality that people make their own choices of what they want to get out of life. I forgive. I dream some more...now about my own kids.
Mikey and I have often talked about how we want to raise our family to be close, a healthy close but a fun and silly close too. I so desire a house full of laughter and the openness to share your heart and thoughts (in a respectful way). Maybe the hole in my heart will heal with my own kids. Maybe I'll get back 10x what I feel jipped on. I think it's starting to with Kaiden. When he grins at me and snuggles me, I feel at home. Maybe it's healing more than I know.
I'm excited to have more kids as the years go on, and until then I keep dreaming.
the holidays spark such emotion in me. Not sure why. Maybe it's the little girl in me, that still loves Christmas lights, the excitement of opening stockings(!), sipping on hot cocoa, watching dancing movies being jealous of those killer moves, decorating a Christmas tree, listeing to stories about the birth of Jesus, and then there's that part of me that still loves to dream.
My dream? I've always wanted a close family, but sadly it's never been a reality. There's a hole that some days seems deeper than most days. This week, it seems deep and makes me sad. I "get along" great with my family there's no serious hatred there, but there's not that dynamic element of LOVING to be around each other. I have to admit I get a tid bit jealous sometimes when I see how much my husband's family stays in contact with each other and how they also truthfully enjoy one another's company. That's what I feel jipped on is being able to enjoy one another's company and being silly, in whatever form your own humor is.
Grant it, I only have brothers for siblings, and guys are not the best at calling just to say hey, plus we live 1000s of miles apart, which is understandable. I love my little brothers and my prego sister-in-law. I enjoy a long-distance friendship with them. They are actually coming to visit next week! It's the first time I can say I have family in town for the holidays. I like that feeling. We always have a great time when we see each other. It's rare for my brother/sister-in-law in North Dakota to be able to get together with Mike and I. Next week will be good...refreshing!
Back to my dream...here it is vulnerable and honest...
I dream of having a family where we have fun traditions of finding a Christmas tree together, singing Christmas carols, having a game night, or all piling on the couch to watch movies. I dream of being able to go shopping with a mom who loves to shop as much as I do and we just chat, chat, and chat about life-what we like, what we don't, latest recipes, how our jobs are going, movies we like, and even get pedicures together. I dream of feeling safe in my dad's embrace and hearing him say how much he loves me. I dream of seeing him happy and not the deep sadness and tiredness from life in his eyes. I dream of extended family getting together for the holidays and laughing at all the stories people tell, not just listening to people talk about how they're barely surviving. I dream of sitting back and watching my family's eye light up because they love life and love each other, not judging each other's flaws or differences. I dream of feeling at home with my family. I dream. I come back to reality that people make their own choices of what they want to get out of life. I forgive. I dream some more...now about my own kids.
Mikey and I have often talked about how we want to raise our family to be close, a healthy close but a fun and silly close too. I so desire a house full of laughter and the openness to share your heart and thoughts (in a respectful way). Maybe the hole in my heart will heal with my own kids. Maybe I'll get back 10x what I feel jipped on. I think it's starting to with Kaiden. When he grins at me and snuggles me, I feel at home. Maybe it's healing more than I know.
I'm excited to have more kids as the years go on, and until then I keep dreaming.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Christmas time is here...
This year we got our tree up the day before Thanksgiving, which is a first! We didn't quite have the rest of the house decorated completely until the weekend after Thanksgiving. Christmas is my husband and I's favorite time of year! This year we get to enjoy the blanket of snow in our little mountain town. 
(Our apartment is upstairs to the left)
(Our apartment is upstairs to the left)Since I'm totally a list person, here's a few of my personal favorites I'm enjoying this season:
*Christmas movies: Home Alone 1 and 2, Charlie Brown Christmas, White Christmas (love, love the dancing), and Elf (LOVE Buddy the elf) are my favorites this season!
*Christmas music: Silent Night, hands down makes me cry EVERY time I try to sing along. No, it's not because of my voice, but I really get choked up picturing the serene moment where Jesus was born, and then I think about how dear Jesus is to me, so very dear to my heart. Tears are coming now.
Christmas traditions: This is our first year together as a family of 3 and I'm excited to think about things we can start to do together, our FAMILY. So exciting! For Christmas Eve, I hope we can go to our church's Christmas Eve service, drive around looking at Christmas lights while drinking hot cocoa and listening to Christmas music, and at home read Christmas stories together cozied up by the fireplace. Lastly, we'll snuggle (I seriously LOVE Elf).
Christmas morning maybe we can make a tasty breakfast, help Kaiden open gifts that family have sent, and then we'll probably head to Mikey's parents to celebrate the day there. I also like to think of fun things we can do with Kaiden as he gets older to help people in need, teach the true meaning of Christmas, and have fun with Santa and reindeer.Christmas presents: We can't afford any this year (a soon to be post coming about that) except sending my family members a cute framed pic I'm posting here and then the names we drew on Mikey's side of the family (their tradition). We so enjoy giving to people we love, but this year we'll express our love a different way than a gift. Maybe we'll call each person and sing to them-ha! So our Christmas present is the joy of being together with our new son! I don't mind, I'm pretty fulfilled with just him and my hubby when it comes to having my heart's desires.
Christmas commercial: Yep! There's one about Kay Jeweler's this year. It's a mom rocking her baby early in the morning and the dad coming down to check on her. Plugging the Christmas tree lights in, he somehow talks about how it's just not "any" Christmas morning, but it's their first Christmas morning as a family. Tears. Now, again. Makes me tear up (happy ones) every time I see it...because that's us this year! No I don't need diamond earrings :)
Well, that's all the time I have tonight. I still need to post pics of a few cute ornaments we were able to get/were given this year and thoughts I have on the Christmas story itself.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Well, that was a first!
Yesterday Kaiden and I stayed at home to rest and not go anywhere, much needed for us both. It's been busy, a good busy though. While we rested, Mikey went to help his dad and their foster kid cut down a Christmas tree for his parent's house. Around 5:30 in the evening, I started smelling a smoky smell in Kaiden's room. This has happened before when our neighbors used their fireplace. For some reason, we can smell it through the attic access which is in Kaiden's closet. So I noted it and wasn't too alarmed because it's never been anything before.
Thirty minutes later, the smell is super super strong so I put Kaiden in our bed. It was so strong I decided to call Mike up at his parents just to see what he thought and let him know I was concerned that it was THIS strong. When I described what I smelt, he told me to knock on our neighbor's door and see if they (two college girls-very nice) had a fire going in their fireplace. So I popped over and asked. They weren't at all and even at that said they had to crack a few doors because their place was getting hazy with smoke. Huh?!?
I called Mike back, and he was very concerned. So he told me to call 911 to have the guys come out and just check to be safe. Ok, so I've never called 911 and I definitely want to keep our home safe, BUT I was super nervous to call because I know it will cause a bit of a ruckus (Yes, I'm that shy and don't like to draw attention to situations). The thing that alarmd me is that just in the past couple weeks, there's been several house fires. It seems to happen everytime it snows, so the firefighters say. So, I call 911 and explain I don't see any smoke but my husband was concerend about the smell, and the girls next door did have some smoke. The dispatcher said they were sending someone over to check it out.
So in the next few minutes comes the giant ladder truck (because we're in a complex on the 2nd floor), another truck, the Rescue, and battalion chief. In come the guys, checking K's room and the attic for signs of heat, etc. They also checked all the neighbors' houses. Of course, during all this Mike is on his way home (as soon as I got off the phone with him before I called 911). They never found the source of the smoke/smell, but they thought it did look like one of our downstairs neighbors had a fire in the fireplace ALL day and since all the pipes are connected, maybe there was a crack in a pipe that caused the upstairs condos to get a draft. That pipe would be SUPER hot after being used all day. I think our property manager is getting the chimney and pipes inspected this week to see if that's what it was.
So VERY thankfully, there was no fire or the start of one. I was definitely nervous, especially with it just being Kaiden and I, plus Mike had the good car because it was snowing. It was kind of cool to see the guys I've met several times and ate dinner with at the station in their actual gear and doing their job. They were so friendly and helpful.
I can now check "calling 911" of my list of things I've never done before. Thank goodness for DFRA!
Thirty minutes later, the smell is super super strong so I put Kaiden in our bed. It was so strong I decided to call Mike up at his parents just to see what he thought and let him know I was concerned that it was THIS strong. When I described what I smelt, he told me to knock on our neighbor's door and see if they (two college girls-very nice) had a fire going in their fireplace. So I popped over and asked. They weren't at all and even at that said they had to crack a few doors because their place was getting hazy with smoke. Huh?!?
I called Mike back, and he was very concerned. So he told me to call 911 to have the guys come out and just check to be safe. Ok, so I've never called 911 and I definitely want to keep our home safe, BUT I was super nervous to call because I know it will cause a bit of a ruckus (Yes, I'm that shy and don't like to draw attention to situations). The thing that alarmd me is that just in the past couple weeks, there's been several house fires. It seems to happen everytime it snows, so the firefighters say. So, I call 911 and explain I don't see any smoke but my husband was concerend about the smell, and the girls next door did have some smoke. The dispatcher said they were sending someone over to check it out.
So in the next few minutes comes the giant ladder truck (because we're in a complex on the 2nd floor), another truck, the Rescue, and battalion chief. In come the guys, checking K's room and the attic for signs of heat, etc. They also checked all the neighbors' houses. Of course, during all this Mike is on his way home (as soon as I got off the phone with him before I called 911). They never found the source of the smoke/smell, but they thought it did look like one of our downstairs neighbors had a fire in the fireplace ALL day and since all the pipes are connected, maybe there was a crack in a pipe that caused the upstairs condos to get a draft. That pipe would be SUPER hot after being used all day. I think our property manager is getting the chimney and pipes inspected this week to see if that's what it was.
So VERY thankfully, there was no fire or the start of one. I was definitely nervous, especially with it just being Kaiden and I, plus Mike had the good car because it was snowing. It was kind of cool to see the guys I've met several times and ate dinner with at the station in their actual gear and doing their job. They were so friendly and helpful.
I can now check "calling 911" of my list of things I've never done before. Thank goodness for DFRA!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
A Thanksgiving Treat
The week of Thanksgiving this year was quite a treat. Grandma Krupa from Michigan came to meet Kaiden! She usually comes during Christmas every year, but this year couldn't get off work and wanted to see Kaiden sooner rather than later. Kaiden is Grandma Krupa's first great-grandchild. We were waiting for her at Mike's parents' house the night she flew in. When she walked in and saw Kaiden, she cried. It was such a sweet moment.
Grandma Krupa is such a fun lady. She's never met a stranger and is one of the most talkative/friendliest ladies I've met. Recently she bought a laptop and has started emailing at the age of 70+! This trip Mike helped her learn how to send pics with an email and how to use her digital camera. So cute! We plan to webcam her soon so she can see Kaiden grow. We always enjoy when Grandma K comes to town, and someday in the next few years we hope to visit her in Michigan! We're very grateful for the wonderful great-grandparents Kaiden has on both sides of our family.
Here's dad, Great Grandma K, and Kaiden playing
Monday, December 7, 2009
Welcome to the random thoughts in the mind of Steph
Here I am waiting for my hubby to come home early. He pulled his back on a fire call tonight, had to go to the ER (protocol even though he's just sore) and has to not work the rest of the evening. I SHOULD go to bed and sleep while K is, but I want to make sure Mikey gets comfortable, plus what better to do than enjoy blogging a random thought... or two?
So I've been thinking about the whole "Santa" fairytale that is big during Christmas and have come to a pretty amusing perspective the past week. Take aside all the fuzziness and fairytale-ness of "Santa" and what do you have?
An obese old man who "sees you while your sleeping", "knows when you're awake", and "knows if you've been bad or good". Plus, you better watch out and not cry? To top that, he so desperately wants to get into your house (bringing gifts of course because he stalks you and knows what you like), that he comes right through your chimney. Why not knock or use the spare key?? You know...with him going down your chimney that's an insurance claim waiting to happen. Either a) because he's old he'll break a bone, or b) he's no Skinny Minni and there's a chance he'll get stuck or his tooshie caught on fire. We all can imagine what happens from there.
Yep, Santa sues chimney owners for not having wide enough chimneys to deliver those gifts.
Nope, he doesn't sound creepy at all. Ha. Then I also think to myself, if Santa slimmed down, would America? Is he promoting obesity with his " belly like a bow full of jelly"? Hello Santa, bellies like a bowl full of jelly (aka JELLO) are SO not "cool" in our society. I wonder if marketers tried the idea and slimmed Santa down, would that motivate children and adults alike to be less obese and more in shape like Santa. How 'bout leaving Santa a granola bar and ice water instead of milk and cookies? Maybe that would cut back on the growing diabetes trend in America. Eh??
Of course, I'm just kidding! It's kind of fun to strip a fuzzy warm character down to reality. It's my sick humor. In real life, I probably wouldn't care for the stalker/obese man that songs portray Santa to be. Although St. Nick was a good man who really did help people.
Anyone reading this just might be thinking...poor Kaiden, he'll have such a twisted view of Santa. No worries, we'll have fun silliness with the whole Santa "thing" and I'll definitely keep my cynical humor to myself. I do LOVE Christmas time: the stories, the lights, the music, the real Reason we celebrate, and even the fun silliness that is Santa!
So I've been thinking about the whole "Santa" fairytale that is big during Christmas and have come to a pretty amusing perspective the past week. Take aside all the fuzziness and fairytale-ness of "Santa" and what do you have?
An obese old man who "sees you while your sleeping", "knows when you're awake", and "knows if you've been bad or good". Plus, you better watch out and not cry? To top that, he so desperately wants to get into your house (bringing gifts of course because he stalks you and knows what you like), that he comes right through your chimney. Why not knock or use the spare key?? You know...with him going down your chimney that's an insurance claim waiting to happen. Either a) because he's old he'll break a bone, or b) he's no Skinny Minni and there's a chance he'll get stuck or his tooshie caught on fire. We all can imagine what happens from there.
Yep, Santa sues chimney owners for not having wide enough chimneys to deliver those gifts.
Nope, he doesn't sound creepy at all. Ha. Then I also think to myself, if Santa slimmed down, would America? Is he promoting obesity with his " belly like a bow full of jelly"? Hello Santa, bellies like a bowl full of jelly (aka JELLO) are SO not "cool" in our society. I wonder if marketers tried the idea and slimmed Santa down, would that motivate children and adults alike to be less obese and more in shape like Santa. How 'bout leaving Santa a granola bar and ice water instead of milk and cookies? Maybe that would cut back on the growing diabetes trend in America. Eh??
Of course, I'm just kidding! It's kind of fun to strip a fuzzy warm character down to reality. It's my sick humor. In real life, I probably wouldn't care for the stalker/obese man that songs portray Santa to be. Although St. Nick was a good man who really did help people.
Anyone reading this just might be thinking...poor Kaiden, he'll have such a twisted view of Santa. No worries, we'll have fun silliness with the whole Santa "thing" and I'll definitely keep my cynical humor to myself. I do LOVE Christmas time: the stories, the lights, the music, the real Reason we celebrate, and even the fun silliness that is Santa!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Three months and counting
Kaiden will be three months old on this Monday, December 7th! I cannot believe how fast it is going. We so enjoy him everyday! He is cooing more than ever and is super smiley when you talk to him. He's trying to laugh outloud but hasn't quite figured it out. It more comes out like a cough/smile/gurggle with little feet kicking turbo style.
He always keeps me guessing on something every week: why he'll have green poop for a few days, how to get rid of irritation on his scalp, or why he's fussy nursing for a spell. I hear it's only the beginning on guessing the"whys", but it surely is fun. I have to say I have wonderful friends that are moms themselves who are willing to answer my weekly "What do I do questions". They're awesome!
He always keeps me guessing on something every week: why he'll have green poop for a few days, how to get rid of irritation on his scalp, or why he's fussy nursing for a spell. I hear it's only the beginning on guessing the"whys", but it surely is fun. I have to say I have wonderful friends that are moms themselves who are willing to answer my weekly "What do I do questions". They're awesome!
These days, Kaiden is trying to hold his up all by himself, and he is working hard to try to sit up on his own. It's too cute! Some things he enjoys are: getting his diaper changed-he gets so happy on the changing table, singing songs with hand motions, playing on his back batting at Mr. Frog, sucking on his paci to go to sleep, and snuggling.
Things K doesn't enjoy are: having a dirty/wet diaper on, being up past nap time, being held like a baby-he likes to sit facing the world now, and getting buckled in his car seat-he's sooo not a fan of that.
Here's his favorite hobbies we have pics of:
lots of sleeping...
lots of playing with dad...and mom but no pic yet
lots of reading...
and being QUITE the adorable turkey! Couldn't you just gobble him up?!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
One last catchup story
Kaiden is the first grandchild for both my parents and Mike's parents. He's the first GREAT grandchild for my mom's parents and for Mike's Grandma Krupa. So inevitably, there'll be quite a bit of spoiling and loving for the little man! I don't' want to forget the many blessings we received when Kaiden was born. Both Mike's immediate family and extended family have sent cards and gifts galore to welcome our son!
When Kaiden was born, he was very blessed to have Mike's grandparents, parents, brother, sister, and brother-in-law here to meet him. Mike's grandparents and parents were both quite generous! The great grandparents bought us a jogger stroller/car seat combo. It's so deluxe and perfect for our mountain town home! Mike's parents also blessed us with a baby swing, a pack-n-play, and the funds to get a very nice backpack as our diaper bag. Here's a few pics of Kaiden's great-Grandma and Grandpa Sinclair and his grandparents: Nonna and Grandpa.
(Mike's Grandma and Grandpa Sinclair with Kaiden)
(Mike's mom and Kaiden)
(Mike's dad and Kaiden)
A week and a half later, my grandparents were able to bring my mom with them for a visit to meet the new grandson/great-grandson. My mom stayed with us and was super helpful with dishes, laundry, and rocking Kaiden lots. She brought Kaiden several books to start on his collection. She's a librarian and finds amazing deals on book selections. My dad couldn't take anymore days off this year because of a back surgery he had. So he didn't get to meet Kaiden on this trip.
(My mom, me, and Kaiden)
(a four generation pic)
This January Kaiden gets to meet my brothers and sister-in-law: Uncle Zack, Aunty Meg, and Uncle Joe! It'll be very exciting to have them come here! Kaiden is very blessed to have family in his life who love him dearly.Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Ahh, my 7th grader
Today I took my 7th grade class to Starbucks to enjoy a tasty beverage out of the classroom and discuss life and a homework assignment! There's only one girl in my class, and with the questions she was asking me it seemed like she didn't order on her own much. After we hashed out ideas, she started to tell me what she wanted and started to hand me her money. So I told her ok, just tell the person behind the counter what you just told me, and YOU give them the money. It was her first time ever in a Starbucks! Crazy, huh? I suggested a hot chocolate to her because she wasn't really a coffee drinker. Thankfully, she had drank hot chocolate before. Whew!
So as we are in line, we're standing in front of the pastries, and I am recomending different ones to her (I used to work there and did lots of sampling-yum!). After I pointed out a few I thought were delicious, she said "So that's why you brought us here, so you could eat all of these. Ya know, my older sister eats stuff all the time she shouldn't eat."
I'm thinking but not speaking: Say what?? Oh honey...
I nicely replied that I wasn't going to get anything to eat, just a drink. I honestly think she thought I was going to mow down on pastries!
So as we are in line, we're standing in front of the pastries, and I am recomending different ones to her (I used to work there and did lots of sampling-yum!). After I pointed out a few I thought were delicious, she said "So that's why you brought us here, so you could eat all of these. Ya know, my older sister eats stuff all the time she shouldn't eat."
I'm thinking but not speaking: Say what?? Oh honey...
I nicely replied that I wasn't going to get anything to eat, just a drink. I honestly think she thought I was going to mow down on pastries!
Monday, November 16, 2009
My cup runs over
Tonight, Mikey is at work. While Kaiden has been awake in between naps this evening, we've been singing... worship songs, silly made up mommy song, and Christmas songs. I have to introduce Christmas songs to him at a young age because of how much we LOVE Christmas!
So what does Kaiden do? This evening every time I have started to sing to him, he starts to "coo" right along with me, and his eyes just sparkle. It is the most precious thing, and my heart has melted into a puddle all evening. When I stop singing, he stops coo-ing and just sits there gazing at me. He's singing WITH mommy! I've got to get it on video; this is something I can't forget.
My cup runs over... as does my love for our son.
So what does Kaiden do? This evening every time I have started to sing to him, he starts to "coo" right along with me, and his eyes just sparkle. It is the most precious thing, and my heart has melted into a puddle all evening. When I stop singing, he stops coo-ing and just sits there gazing at me. He's singing WITH mommy! I've got to get it on video; this is something I can't forget.
My cup runs over... as does my love for our son.
Friday, November 6, 2009
My never ending girly project
A woman's hair...is a forever project! At least in my world. I think the majority of women do this, but I'm always looking for new ways to cut/color my hair. My latest dilemma? I've been growing my hair out for sometime, and it's long and healthy now except... I never fix or wear it down! I always put my hair back because of my new lack of time (due to motherhood) and my hair takes forever to blow dry, especially being longer. That's my big complaint about thick hair, but at least I'm not balding. For that, I'm seriously thankful. Anyway, up here in the dry Colorado air, I can't quite get the natural curl going like I used to sport in Okie country. That's the ONLY nice thing about humidity is the plus for curly hair. So now I personally like my hair straight , but it takes way too long these days.
The solution? A fresh hairdo! I'm consider a longer bob but then I can't pull it back at all. Maybe something a bit past the shoulders instead, or maybe just a healthy trim? Whatever I do, it needs to be something that I can fix easily. That's why my thought is to lose some inches because then it doesn't take as long to dry and my CHI straightener does a kick-A job to straighten in minutes! I shouldn't do something too short because double chins are quite prevalent in my family, and I still need to lose a few baby pounds in the next few months. I've also read that heart-shaped faces should stay away from choppy layers (definitely!) and blunt cut bangs, instead I should do a side-swept bangage (is that a word? sound kind of kinky?)
Mikey will chuckle reading this because I'm always threatening/brainstorming about my hair...chopping, going blond, getting bangs. Blah, blah, blah. I'm all talk! I myself am amused because I'm realizing it will probably be a life process to find the hairstyle that makes me happy simply because my life will always be changing; therefore, my hair will be too. Right?
I'm really not a vain person, just a nearly 30 year old (gasp!!) needing a new 'do and what better way to brainstorm than to blog, mainly to amuse myself! Tonight, I think it's relaxing to write.
Here's the style I like the best so far. I might do a longer version of it, not the color. I also bought a hair mag from Walmart today. I'm a visual type of girl and need a pic. A week from Tuesday, we'll see what happens!!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A chill Halloween this year
Last year, a lot of our friends got together for a slammin' costume party for Halloween. Mikey and I made our own batman and catwoman costumes. They were p-retty sweet if I say so myself. We had great food and great fun!!
This year, life is a bit different. With having such a little guy, we didn't have the time or energy to make costumes or plan a party. Friday night we had a few (too many for our small house we found out) couples over to make home-made caramel apples and hang out. Saturday after we got home from helping with the DFRA candy booth at the mall (SO many cute kid costumes there!) Mikey and I made dinner, watched movies, and carved pumpkins at home. It was a super enjoyable chill evening with my little family. Funny how life changes, and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
Monday, November 2, 2009
The guessing game
So I have to admit...about a half hour after blogging a doting post about my son, he then began to meltdown for the rest of the day and well into the evening. I then began the guessing game :)
Mike had gone to help his dad work on putting up his new shop before the next snow comes. So Kaiden and I spent the day together. I had to get lesson plans done for the week. I start back teaching on Wednesday.
Yesterday morning we went to church. Kaiden dozed off during worship but then woke up during the sermon and wouldn't settle back down. So that's the first nap interrupted and shot. Then I fed him when we got home, and he fell asleep for a 30 minute nap and wouldn't settle back down again. From there it was all down hill. In fact, my nerves were shot by the time Mike got home because I had never had Kaiden seriously freak on me that badly. He got so worked up whether I held him or laid him down.
Of course I went through the checklist and so begins my guessing game...
Was he hungry? nope, he had a great full feeding
Was he wet/dirty? nope, just changed the d before putting him down
Was he in pain? really didn't sound like it, but I gave him a bit of gas medicine in case it was something I ate to make his tummy hurt
Did he need to burp? nope, tried that several different times
Did he want to be unswaddled or swaddled? no clue, he cried either way
Was he exhausted? YES! Beyond exhausted because he usually naps an hour and a half at each nap and hadn't had one of those from 10 am to 8pm.
So my final conclusion, come today, was that he was so tired he didn't know what he wanted AND possibly had a tummy ache after all. He had a couple of poopy diapers in the middle of the night that were had a tad bit of green tint, which means something probably did upset his tummy. Maybe it was his being so worked up? He slept awesome all night and is napping better today, but I'm not going to dote too much because it's only 1 in the afternoon and he could prove me wrong, as cute as he still is :)
And so the guessing game continues...
Mike had gone to help his dad work on putting up his new shop before the next snow comes. So Kaiden and I spent the day together. I had to get lesson plans done for the week. I start back teaching on Wednesday.
Yesterday morning we went to church. Kaiden dozed off during worship but then woke up during the sermon and wouldn't settle back down. So that's the first nap interrupted and shot. Then I fed him when we got home, and he fell asleep for a 30 minute nap and wouldn't settle back down again. From there it was all down hill. In fact, my nerves were shot by the time Mike got home because I had never had Kaiden seriously freak on me that badly. He got so worked up whether I held him or laid him down.
Of course I went through the checklist and so begins my guessing game...
Was he hungry? nope, he had a great full feeding
Was he wet/dirty? nope, just changed the d before putting him down
Was he in pain? really didn't sound like it, but I gave him a bit of gas medicine in case it was something I ate to make his tummy hurt
Did he need to burp? nope, tried that several different times
Did he want to be unswaddled or swaddled? no clue, he cried either way
Was he exhausted? YES! Beyond exhausted because he usually naps an hour and a half at each nap and hadn't had one of those from 10 am to 8pm.
So my final conclusion, come today, was that he was so tired he didn't know what he wanted AND possibly had a tummy ache after all. He had a couple of poopy diapers in the middle of the night that were had a tad bit of green tint, which means something probably did upset his tummy. Maybe it was his being so worked up? He slept awesome all night and is napping better today, but I'm not going to dote too much because it's only 1 in the afternoon and he could prove me wrong, as cute as he still is :)
And so the guessing game continues...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
There's nothing like...
There's nothing like sweet sleepy/awake smiles that instantly melt your heart...
There's nothing like starting to hear a little boy's voice "coo", especially when he snuggles his head on my shoulder and let's out a sweet *sigh*...
There's nothing like having a husband who loves to play with our son, gets up in the middle of the night to help me when I need it, changes diapers, gives K baths, cooks, cleans, and still takes time to snuggle me. He takes such good care of us...
There's nothing like watching cute little feet start to kick, kick, kick in the air ...
There's nothing like still loving to watch Cheaper by the Dozen and still tearing up when Mark runs away and his dad finds him on the train, headed toward his favorite place back home. There's probably more tears on that part now that I'm a parent and imagine that happening...
There's nothing like praying together over Kaiden each night when we put him down to go to sleep...
There's nothing like having a son that takes after me in more ways than one. This morning he sneezed and farted at the same time, twice. So happened to me in a college class. So loud and embarrassing... I'm so proud?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Such a fun surprise!
Can I just say I LOVE surprises? When someone takes the time to plan something to bring you sheer delight, it's a treasured moment for me. On the other hand, I also LOVE surprising people I love. It's so fun to plan something just right for someone to show how much you care.
I think the top three best surprises in my life have been when 1) a couple close friends in OK threw a surprise birthday for me because I'd never had one before, plus they pulled it off really well, 2) when Mikey proposed to me on our first trip to Oklahoma together...SO had no clue (I was actually nervous he was going to break up with me after meeting my family-haha), and 3) my most recent surprise is the week we came home from the hospital.
So we had Kaiden on Monday and came home Wednesday afternoon. That evening we were all settled in by nine o'clockish. I was sleeping in the recliner because of my stitches, and it was easier being there to get up to feed Kaiden rather than trying to roll out of my bed. Just as we had turned the lights out and got comfy, Mikey gets a phone call, and I hear him giving directions to someone about where we live. Hmm...
Then Mikey walks into the living room, and I ask who it was. He only tells me I have a visitor. Hmm..again. Who in the world would come visit me at 9 at night, knowing I just had a baby?? I asked him who it was, and he simply said it was someone that I hadn't seen in a while. I still no clue. So, he walks outside to make sure whoever was coming was headed to the right apartment. He left the door open as he walked out and a few moments later, sure enough my best girlfriend Deb, from Oklahoma, walks through my doorway! It was seriously like a
time-standing still moment. I couldn't believe she had come.
My response? I BURST into SOBBING tears (never my typical reaction-thank you hormones)that she had driven all day because she didn't want me to be alone (as far as someone I'm really close to) because my family couldn't come for the baby being born. What kind of awesome friend is that? She knew Mikey's family was here, but that it would be different not having someone on my side of the family here to share in the moments and help out. I got out of the recliner (I would have run if I could've) and hugged her like no tomorrow! She also brought our dear friend Tabitha to help her drive the 12 hrs straight through.
The funny part is that while we were in the hospital, she had text me the day before that she felt like jumping in the car and coming to see us. She couldn't stand not being there. As always, I said, "Well, get to jumpin'!". We always joke about me coming over ( 12 hr drive included) for dinner in Oklahoma, or her coming over to my house in Durango for coffee. So it was my usual response when she text me, but little did I know she was seriously doing it!
Thank you Deb and Tab for coming all that way just to be with us those first several days home. We didn't have to entertain, and you were so enjoyable with your company, laughs, and love! It meant the world to me! Love you guys!
(In all the excitement, we didn't get to take pictures of her visit, but this is from May at the baby shower my OK crew threw for us.)
I think the top three best surprises in my life have been when 1) a couple close friends in OK threw a surprise birthday for me because I'd never had one before, plus they pulled it off really well, 2) when Mikey proposed to me on our first trip to Oklahoma together...SO had no clue (I was actually nervous he was going to break up with me after meeting my family-haha), and 3) my most recent surprise is the week we came home from the hospital.
So we had Kaiden on Monday and came home Wednesday afternoon. That evening we were all settled in by nine o'clockish. I was sleeping in the recliner because of my stitches, and it was easier being there to get up to feed Kaiden rather than trying to roll out of my bed. Just as we had turned the lights out and got comfy, Mikey gets a phone call, and I hear him giving directions to someone about where we live. Hmm...
Then Mikey walks into the living room, and I ask who it was. He only tells me I have a visitor. Hmm..again. Who in the world would come visit me at 9 at night, knowing I just had a baby?? I asked him who it was, and he simply said it was someone that I hadn't seen in a while. I still no clue. So, he walks outside to make sure whoever was coming was headed to the right apartment. He left the door open as he walked out and a few moments later, sure enough my best girlfriend Deb, from Oklahoma, walks through my doorway! It was seriously like a
time-standing still moment. I couldn't believe she had come.
My response? I BURST into SOBBING tears (never my typical reaction-thank you hormones)that she had driven all day because she didn't want me to be alone (as far as someone I'm really close to) because my family couldn't come for the baby being born. What kind of awesome friend is that? She knew Mikey's family was here, but that it would be different not having someone on my side of the family here to share in the moments and help out. I got out of the recliner (I would have run if I could've) and hugged her like no tomorrow! She also brought our dear friend Tabitha to help her drive the 12 hrs straight through.
The funny part is that while we were in the hospital, she had text me the day before that she felt like jumping in the car and coming to see us. She couldn't stand not being there. As always, I said, "Well, get to jumpin'!". We always joke about me coming over ( 12 hr drive included) for dinner in Oklahoma, or her coming over to my house in Durango for coffee. So it was my usual response when she text me, but little did I know she was seriously doing it!
Thank you Deb and Tab for coming all that way just to be with us those first several days home. We didn't have to entertain, and you were so enjoyable with your company, laughs, and love! It meant the world to me! Love you guys!
(In all the excitement, we didn't get to take pictures of her visit, but this is from May at the baby shower my OK crew threw for us.)
Monday, October 26, 2009
Mrs. cranky pants
Yep, that's me the past two days. I seem to be quite the cranky person the past couple days. I think I still need to learn that everyone has a bad day now and then, and that's ok. However, most of the time I feel bad to have a bad day, but I'm thinking if I write some of my thoughts out, I'll realize what's wrong or that it's not so bad. We'll see. Here are some "maybes" I've come up with as to why I'm so aggravated and frustrated...
maybe... it's because of this crick in my neck, good grief how much it hurts
maybe... it's because of very unnerving dreams I had Saturday night, making me wake up Sunday on the wrong side of the bed and very upset
maybe... it's because we overslept going to church Sunday and I was looking forward to going but we did catch up on much needed rest now having a newborn, and that is a good thing
maybe... it's the last of these wretched post partum hormones that make my emotions a wreck
maybe... it's not being able to be with people much. As much of a quiet person who loves to be productive in getting things done, I'm SUCH a people person. Quality time is my love language and when I don't get that with people I love and enjoy, it starts getting to me. Friends are busy with their own lives, and it's seriously a mo-fo to try to plan getting together. Plus, lots of people are sick this time of year, which I'm trying to avoid being around with so young of a little guy
maybe... it's because I'm feeling with frustrations with my parents. I'm so different and have much different perspectives and thinking than they do. Where do I fit in? Where do I fit in with my husband's family? It's like who I am is in the middle of two very different extremes, so I feel I don't fit either way
maybe... it's because I still can't fit into my pre-prego jeans and we don't have extra shopping money to go buy new ones because I haven't been working the past 6 weeks. The flip side of that is that I did get the ok from my midwife to start exercising...a very good thing!
maybe...it's because I need to give myself more grace. I'm think I'm very disappointed in myself for not being much fun to be around. At least that's how I feel. I miss goofing off and not worrying this much what people think. It's like this mothering instinct has taken over to where I worry a lot more and am so tired that a lot of things get to me quickly. The worst thing to me someone could say about me is that I'm not fun to be around, and if that's how I feel about myself at the moment, that makes me sad.
On the other hand, life isn't bad at all. There are lots of good things I can and should think about instead!
*I have a wonderful healthy, new son, who is cuddly and sweet and have a MOST helpful husband
*When I go back to work next week, it's only 3 days a week til 12:30 in the afternoon PLUS we have a very trusting friend who'll come over to watch Kaiden on the days Mikey is on shift and can't watch him.
* Our bills are paid, though there's not fun/extra money until I get a few paychecks ,and we haven't fallen behind on any payments with me not working
*My husband's job has awesome insurance where we only pay 20% of delivery/newborn care and we don't have a monthly premium to pay. Thank you DFRA!
*I got to go on a walk with a dear friend today, who even brought me homemade icecream-mint chocolate chip for that, my favorite.
* I have another girlfriend who is taking the time to come visit in two weeks because she can't wait til March to see our new son
* We have our cozy apartment to settle in for the winter, fireplace and hot chocolate stocked.
* I get to do something I love for my job, that is teaching and being with my middle schoolers! I'm blessed to teach in a Christian environment where there's freedom to encourage kids in their walk with God and see their character, not just academics developed.
* The holidays are on their way! Grandma Krupa is coming for Thanksgiving (she's so fun) and my brother and sister-in-law come the week after Christmas! Plus, we LOVE Christmas time and how fun it will be to start our own family traditions with our sweet Kaiden here now.
* I have a wonderful nanny and pa who take time to show their love and care so much for Mikey, Kaiden, and I. They email/call often, send the best home-made cookies, and love anytime they can.
So maybe "journaling" this has helped today. I feel lighter thinking on and writing about the good things but also being able to be HONEST about other things I struggle with. As everyone is, I'm a work in progress. Thank you God for your grace!
maybe... it's because of this crick in my neck, good grief how much it hurts
maybe... it's because of very unnerving dreams I had Saturday night, making me wake up Sunday on the wrong side of the bed and very upset
maybe... it's because we overslept going to church Sunday and I was looking forward to going but we did catch up on much needed rest now having a newborn, and that is a good thing
maybe... it's the last of these wretched post partum hormones that make my emotions a wreck
maybe... it's not being able to be with people much. As much of a quiet person who loves to be productive in getting things done, I'm SUCH a people person. Quality time is my love language and when I don't get that with people I love and enjoy, it starts getting to me. Friends are busy with their own lives, and it's seriously a mo-fo to try to plan getting together. Plus, lots of people are sick this time of year, which I'm trying to avoid being around with so young of a little guy
maybe... it's because I'm feeling with frustrations with my parents. I'm so different and have much different perspectives and thinking than they do. Where do I fit in? Where do I fit in with my husband's family? It's like who I am is in the middle of two very different extremes, so I feel I don't fit either way
maybe... it's because I still can't fit into my pre-prego jeans and we don't have extra shopping money to go buy new ones because I haven't been working the past 6 weeks. The flip side of that is that I did get the ok from my midwife to start exercising...a very good thing!
maybe...it's because I need to give myself more grace. I'm think I'm very disappointed in myself for not being much fun to be around. At least that's how I feel. I miss goofing off and not worrying this much what people think. It's like this mothering instinct has taken over to where I worry a lot more and am so tired that a lot of things get to me quickly. The worst thing to me someone could say about me is that I'm not fun to be around, and if that's how I feel about myself at the moment, that makes me sad.
On the other hand, life isn't bad at all. There are lots of good things I can and should think about instead!
*I have a wonderful healthy, new son, who is cuddly and sweet and have a MOST helpful husband
*When I go back to work next week, it's only 3 days a week til 12:30 in the afternoon PLUS we have a very trusting friend who'll come over to watch Kaiden on the days Mikey is on shift and can't watch him.
* Our bills are paid, though there's not fun/extra money until I get a few paychecks ,and we haven't fallen behind on any payments with me not working
*My husband's job has awesome insurance where we only pay 20% of delivery/newborn care and we don't have a monthly premium to pay. Thank you DFRA!
*I got to go on a walk with a dear friend today, who even brought me homemade icecream-mint chocolate chip for that, my favorite.
* I have another girlfriend who is taking the time to come visit in two weeks because she can't wait til March to see our new son
* We have our cozy apartment to settle in for the winter, fireplace and hot chocolate stocked.
* I get to do something I love for my job, that is teaching and being with my middle schoolers! I'm blessed to teach in a Christian environment where there's freedom to encourage kids in their walk with God and see their character, not just academics developed.
* The holidays are on their way! Grandma Krupa is coming for Thanksgiving (she's so fun) and my brother and sister-in-law come the week after Christmas! Plus, we LOVE Christmas time and how fun it will be to start our own family traditions with our sweet Kaiden here now.
* I have a wonderful nanny and pa who take time to show their love and care so much for Mikey, Kaiden, and I. They email/call often, send the best home-made cookies, and love anytime they can.
So maybe "journaling" this has helped today. I feel lighter thinking on and writing about the good things but also being able to be HONEST about other things I struggle with. As everyone is, I'm a work in progress. Thank you God for your grace!
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