All I want for Christmas...

Here goes...a little more serious, a little more honest... not the post I was expecting to write next, but...

the holidays spark such emotion in me. Not sure why. Maybe it's the little girl in me, that still loves Christmas lights, the excitement of opening stockings(!), sipping on hot cocoa, watching dancing movies being jealous of those killer moves, decorating a Christmas tree, listeing to stories about the birth of Jesus, and then there's that part of me that still loves to dream.

My dream? I've always wanted a close family, but sadly it's never been a reality. There's a hole that some days seems deeper than most days. This week, it seems deep and makes me sad. I "get along" great with my family there's no serious hatred there, but there's not that dynamic element of LOVING to be around each other. I have to admit I get a tid bit jealous sometimes when I see how much my husband's family stays in contact with each other and how they also truthfully enjoy one another's company. That's what I feel jipped on is being able to enjoy one another's company and being silly, in whatever form your own humor is.

Grant it, I only have brothers for siblings, and guys are not the best at calling just to say hey, plus we live 1000s of miles apart, which is understandable. I love my little brothers and my prego sister-in-law. I enjoy a long-distance friendship with them. They are actually coming to visit next week! It's the first time I can say I have family in town for the holidays. I like that feeling. We always have a great time when we see each other. It's rare for my brother/sister-in-law in North Dakota to be able to get together with Mike and I. Next week will be good...refreshing!

Back to my dream...here it is vulnerable and honest...

I dream of having a family where we have fun traditions of finding a Christmas tree together, singing Christmas carols, having a game night, or all piling on the couch to watch movies. I dream of being able to go shopping with a mom who loves to shop as much as I do and we just chat, chat, and chat about life-what we like, what we don't, latest recipes, how our jobs are going, movies we like, and even get pedicures together. I dream of feeling safe in my dad's embrace and hearing him say how much he loves me. I dream of seeing him happy and not the deep sadness and tiredness from life in his eyes. I dream of extended family getting together for the holidays and laughing at all the stories people tell, not just listening to people talk about how they're barely surviving. I dream of sitting back and watching my family's eye light up because they love life and love each other, not judging each other's flaws or differences. I dream of feeling at home with my family. I dream. I come back to reality that people make their own choices of what they want to get out of life. I forgive. I dream some more...now about my own kids.

Mikey and I have often talked about how we want to raise our family to be close, a healthy close but a fun and silly close too. I so desire a house full of laughter and the openness to share your heart and thoughts (in a respectful way). Maybe the hole in my heart will heal with my own kids. Maybe I'll get back 10x what I feel jipped on. I think it's starting to with Kaiden. When he grins at me and snuggles me, I feel at home. Maybe it's healing more than I know.
I'm excited to have more kids as the years go on, and until then I keep dreaming.

Christmas time is here...

This year we got our tree up the day before Thanksgiving, which is a first! We didn't quite have the rest of the house decorated completely until the weekend after Thanksgiving. Christmas is my husband and I's favorite time of year! This year we get to enjoy the blanket of snow in our little mountain town. (Our apartment is upstairs to the left)

Since I'm totally a list person, here's a few of my personal favorites I'm enjoying this season:

*Christmas movies: Home Alone 1 and 2, Charlie Brown Christmas, White Christmas (love, love the dancing), and Elf (LOVE Buddy the elf) are my favorites this season!

*Christmas music: Silent Night, hands down makes me cry EVERY time I try to sing along. No, it's not because of my voice, but I really get choked up picturing the serene moment where Jesus was born, and then I think about how dear Jesus is to me, so very dear to my heart. Tears are coming now.

Christmas traditions: This is our first year together as a family of 3 and I'm excited to think about things we can start to do together, our FAMILY. So exciting! For Christmas Eve, I hope we can go to our church's Christmas Eve service, drive around looking at Christmas lights while drinking hot cocoa and listening to Christmas music, and at home read Christmas stories together cozied up by the fireplace. Lastly, we'll snuggle (I seriously LOVE Elf).

Christmas morning maybe we can make a tasty breakfast, help Kaiden open gifts that family have sent, and then we'll probably head to Mikey's parents to celebrate the day there. I also like to think of fun things we can do with Kaiden as he gets older to help people in need, teach the true meaning of Christmas, and have fun with Santa and reindeer.

Christmas presents: We can't afford any this year (a soon to be post coming about that) except sending my family members a cute framed pic I'm posting here and then the names we drew on Mikey's side of the family (their tradition). We so enjoy giving to people we love, but this year we'll express our love a different way than a gift. Maybe we'll call each person and sing to them-ha! So our Christmas present is the joy of being together with our new son! I don't mind, I'm pretty fulfilled with just him and my hubby when it comes to having my heart's desires.

Christmas commercial: Yep! There's one about Kay Jeweler's this year. It's a mom rocking her baby early in the morning and the dad coming down to check on her. Plugging the Christmas tree lights in, he somehow talks about how it's just not "any" Christmas morning, but it's their first Christmas morning as a family. Tears. Now, again. Makes me tear up (happy ones) every time I see it...because that's us this year! No I don't need diamond earrings :)

Well, that's all the time I have tonight. I still need to post pics of a few cute ornaments we were able to get/were given this year and thoughts I have on the Christmas story itself.

Well, that was a first!

Yesterday Kaiden and I stayed at home to rest and not go anywhere, much needed for us both. It's been busy, a good busy though. While we rested, Mikey went to help his dad and their foster kid cut down a Christmas tree for his parent's house. Around 5:30 in the evening, I started smelling a smoky smell in Kaiden's room. This has happened before when our neighbors used their fireplace. For some reason, we can smell it through the attic access which is in Kaiden's closet. So I noted it and wasn't too alarmed because it's never been anything before.

Thirty minutes later, the smell is super super strong so I put Kaiden in our bed. It was so strong I decided to call Mike up at his parents just to see what he thought and let him know I was concerned that it was THIS strong. When I described what I smelt, he told me to knock on our neighbor's door and see if they (two college girls-very nice) had a fire going in their fireplace. So I popped over and asked. They weren't at all and even at that said they had to crack a few doors because their place was getting hazy with smoke. Huh?!?

I called Mike back, and he was very concerned. So he told me to call 911 to have the guys come out and just check to be safe. Ok, so I've never called 911 and I definitely want to keep our home safe, BUT I was super nervous to call because I know it will cause a bit of a ruckus (Yes, I'm that shy and don't like to draw attention to situations). The thing that alarmd me is that just in the past couple weeks, there's been several house fires. It seems to happen everytime it snows, so the firefighters say. So, I call 911 and explain I don't see any smoke but my husband was concerend about the smell, and the girls next door did have some smoke. The dispatcher said they were sending someone over to check it out.

So in the next few minutes comes the giant ladder truck (because we're in a complex on the 2nd floor), another truck, the Rescue, and battalion chief. In come the guys, checking K's room and the attic for signs of heat, etc. They also checked all the neighbors' houses. Of course, during all this Mike is on his way home (as soon as I got off the phone with him before I called 911). They never found the source of the smoke/smell, but they thought it did look like one of our downstairs neighbors had a fire in the fireplace ALL day and since all the pipes are connected, maybe there was a crack in a pipe that caused the upstairs condos to get a draft. That pipe would be SUPER hot after being used all day. I think our property manager is getting the chimney and pipes inspected this week to see if that's what it was.

So VERY thankfully, there was no fire or the start of one. I was definitely nervous, especially with it just being Kaiden and I, plus Mike had the good car because it was snowing. It was kind of cool to see the guys I've met several times and ate dinner with at the station in their actual gear and doing their job. They were so friendly and helpful.

I can now check "calling 911" of my list of things I've never done before. Thank goodness for DFRA!

A Thanksgiving Treat

The week of Thanksgiving this year was quite a treat. Grandma Krupa from Michigan came to meet Kaiden! She usually comes during Christmas every year, but this year couldn't get off work and wanted to see Kaiden sooner rather than later. Kaiden is Grandma Krupa's first great-grandchild. We were waiting for her at Mike's parents' house the night she flew in. When she walked in and saw Kaiden, she cried. It was such a sweet moment.

Grandma Krupa is such a fun lady. She's never met a stranger and is one of the most talkative/friendliest ladies I've met. Recently she bought a laptop and has started emailing at the age of 70+! This trip Mike helped her learn how to send pics with an email and how to use her digital camera. So cute! We plan to webcam her soon so she can see Kaiden grow. We always enjoy when Grandma K comes to town, and someday in the next few years we hope to visit her in Michigan! We're very grateful for the wonderful great-grandparents Kaiden has on both sides of our family.

Here's dad, Great Grandma K, and Kaiden playing

Welcome to the random thoughts in the mind of Steph

Here I am waiting for my hubby to come home early. He pulled his back on a fire call tonight, had to go to the ER (protocol even though he's just sore) and has to not work the rest of the evening. I SHOULD go to bed and sleep while K is, but I want to make sure Mikey gets comfortable, plus what better to do than enjoy blogging a random thought... or two?

So I've been thinking about the whole "Santa" fairytale that is big during Christmas and have come to a pretty amusing perspective the past week. Take aside all the fuzziness and fairytale-ness of "Santa" and what do you have?

An obese old man who "sees you while your sleeping", "knows when you're awake", and "knows if you've been bad or good". Plus, you better watch out and not cry? To top that, he so desperately wants to get into your house (bringing gifts of course because he stalks you and knows what you like), that he comes right through your chimney. Why not knock or use the spare key?? You know...with him going down your chimney that's an insurance claim waiting to happen. Either a) because he's old he'll break a bone, or b) he's no Skinny Minni and there's a chance he'll get stuck or his tooshie caught on fire. We all can imagine what happens from there.
Yep, Santa sues chimney owners for not having wide enough chimneys to deliver those gifts.

Nope, he doesn't sound creepy at all. Ha. Then I also think to myself, if Santa slimmed down, would America? Is he promoting obesity with his " belly like a bow full of jelly"? Hello Santa, bellies like a bowl full of jelly (aka JELLO) are SO not "cool" in our society. I wonder if marketers tried the idea and slimmed Santa down, would that motivate children and adults alike to be less obese and more in shape like Santa. How 'bout leaving Santa a granola bar and ice water instead of milk and cookies? Maybe that would cut back on the growing diabetes trend in America. Eh??

Of course, I'm just kidding! It's kind of fun to strip a fuzzy warm character down to reality. It's my sick humor. In real life, I probably wouldn't care for the stalker/obese man that songs portray Santa to be. Although St. Nick was a good man who really did help people.

Anyone reading this just might be thinking...poor Kaiden, he'll have such a twisted view of Santa. No worries, we'll have fun silliness with the whole Santa "thing" and I'll definitely keep my cynical humor to myself. I do LOVE Christmas time: the stories, the lights, the music, the real Reason we celebrate, and even the fun silliness that is Santa!

Three months and counting

Kaiden will be three months old on this Monday, December 7th! I cannot believe how fast it is going. We so enjoy him everyday! He is cooing more than ever and is super smiley when you talk to him. He's trying to laugh outloud but hasn't quite figured it out. It more comes out like a cough/smile/gurggle with little feet kicking turbo style.

He always keeps me guessing on something every week: why he'll have green poop for a few days, how to get rid of irritation on his scalp, or why he's fussy nursing for a spell. I hear it's only the beginning on guessing the"whys", but it surely is fun. I have to say I have wonderful friends that are moms themselves who are willing to answer my weekly "What do I do questions". They're awesome!

These days, Kaiden is trying to hold his up all by himself, and he is working hard to try to sit up on his own. It's too cute! Some things he enjoys are: getting his diaper changed-he gets so happy on the changing table, singing songs with hand motions, playing on his back batting at Mr. Frog, sucking on his paci to go to sleep, and snuggling.

Things K doesn't enjoy are: having a dirty/wet diaper on, being up past nap time, being held like a baby-he likes to sit facing the world now, and getting buckled in his car seat-he's sooo not a fan of that.

Here's his favorite hobbies we have pics of:

lots of sleeping...

lots of playing with dad...and mom but no pic yet

lots of reading...

and being QUITE the adorable turkey!

Couldn't you just gobble him up?!