Here goes...a little more serious, a little more honest... not the post I was expecting to write next, but...
the holidays spark such emotion in me. Not sure why. Maybe it's the little girl in me, that still loves Christmas lights, the excitement of opening stockings(!), sipping on hot cocoa, watching dancing movies being jealous of those killer moves, decorating a Christmas tree, listeing to stories about the birth of Jesus, and then there's that part of me that still loves to dream.
My dream? I've always wanted a close family, but sadly it's never been a reality. There's a hole that some days seems deeper than most days. This week, it seems deep and makes me sad. I "get along" great with my family there's no serious hatred there, but there's not that dynamic element of LOVING to be around each other. I have to admit I get a tid bit jealous sometimes when I see how much my husband's family stays in contact with each other and how they also truthfully enjoy one another's company. That's what I feel jipped on is being able to enjoy one another's company and being silly, in whatever form your own humor is.
Grant it, I only have brothers for siblings, and guys are not the best at calling just to say hey, plus we live 1000s of miles apart, which is understandable. I love my little brothers and my prego sister-in-law. I enjoy a long-distance friendship with them. They are actually coming to visit next week! It's the first time I can say I have family in town for the holidays. I like that feeling. We always have a great time when we see each other. It's rare for my brother/sister-in-law in North Dakota to be able to get together with Mike and I. Next week will be good...refreshing!
Back to my dream...here it is vulnerable and honest...
I dream of having a family where we have fun traditions of finding a Christmas tree together, singing Christmas carols, having a game night, or all piling on the couch to watch movies. I dream of being able to go shopping with a mom who loves to shop as much as I do and we just chat, chat, and chat about life-what we like, what we don't, latest recipes, how our jobs are going, movies we like, and even get pedicures together. I dream of feeling safe in my dad's embrace and hearing him say how much he loves me. I dream of seeing him happy and not the deep sadness and tiredness from life in his eyes. I dream of extended family getting together for the holidays and laughing at all the stories people tell, not just listening to people talk about how they're barely surviving. I dream of sitting back and watching my family's eye light up because they love life and love each other, not judging each other's flaws or differences. I dream of feeling at home with my family. I dream. I come back to reality that people make their own choices of what they want to get out of life. I forgive. I dream some more...now about my own kids.
Mikey and I have often talked about how we want to raise our family to be close, a healthy close but a fun and silly close too. I so desire a house full of laughter and the openness to share your heart and thoughts (in a respectful way). Maybe the hole in my heart will heal with my own kids. Maybe I'll get back 10x what I feel jipped on. I think it's starting to with Kaiden. When he grins at me and snuggles me, I feel at home. Maybe it's healing more than I know.
I'm excited to have more kids as the years go on, and until then I keep dreaming.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Christmas time is here...
This year we got our tree up the day before Thanksgiving, which is a first! We didn't quite have the rest of the house decorated completely until the weekend after Thanksgiving. Christmas is my husband and I's favorite time of year! This year we get to enjoy the blanket of snow in our little mountain town. 
(Our apartment is upstairs to the left)
(Our apartment is upstairs to the left)Since I'm totally a list person, here's a few of my personal favorites I'm enjoying this season:
*Christmas movies: Home Alone 1 and 2, Charlie Brown Christmas, White Christmas (love, love the dancing), and Elf (LOVE Buddy the elf) are my favorites this season!
*Christmas music: Silent Night, hands down makes me cry EVERY time I try to sing along. No, it's not because of my voice, but I really get choked up picturing the serene moment where Jesus was born, and then I think about how dear Jesus is to me, so very dear to my heart. Tears are coming now.
Christmas traditions: This is our first year together as a family of 3 and I'm excited to think about things we can start to do together, our FAMILY. So exciting! For Christmas Eve, I hope we can go to our church's Christmas Eve service, drive around looking at Christmas lights while drinking hot cocoa and listening to Christmas music, and at home read Christmas stories together cozied up by the fireplace. Lastly, we'll snuggle (I seriously LOVE Elf).
Christmas morning maybe we can make a tasty breakfast, help Kaiden open gifts that family have sent, and then we'll probably head to Mikey's parents to celebrate the day there. I also like to think of fun things we can do with Kaiden as he gets older to help people in need, teach the true meaning of Christmas, and have fun with Santa and reindeer.Christmas presents: We can't afford any this year (a soon to be post coming about that) except sending my family members a cute framed pic I'm posting here and then the names we drew on Mikey's side of the family (their tradition). We so enjoy giving to people we love, but this year we'll express our love a different way than a gift. Maybe we'll call each person and sing to them-ha! So our Christmas present is the joy of being together with our new son! I don't mind, I'm pretty fulfilled with just him and my hubby when it comes to having my heart's desires.
Christmas commercial: Yep! There's one about Kay Jeweler's this year. It's a mom rocking her baby early in the morning and the dad coming down to check on her. Plugging the Christmas tree lights in, he somehow talks about how it's just not "any" Christmas morning, but it's their first Christmas morning as a family. Tears. Now, again. Makes me tear up (happy ones) every time I see it...because that's us this year! No I don't need diamond earrings :)
Well, that's all the time I have tonight. I still need to post pics of a few cute ornaments we were able to get/were given this year and thoughts I have on the Christmas story itself.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Well, that was a first!
Yesterday Kaiden and I stayed at home to rest and not go anywhere, much needed for us both. It's been busy, a good busy though. While we rested, Mikey went to help his dad and their foster kid cut down a Christmas tree for his parent's house. Around 5:30 in the evening, I started smelling a smoky smell in Kaiden's room. This has happened before when our neighbors used their fireplace. For some reason, we can smell it through the attic access which is in Kaiden's closet. So I noted it and wasn't too alarmed because it's never been anything before.
Thirty minutes later, the smell is super super strong so I put Kaiden in our bed. It was so strong I decided to call Mike up at his parents just to see what he thought and let him know I was concerned that it was THIS strong. When I described what I smelt, he told me to knock on our neighbor's door and see if they (two college girls-very nice) had a fire going in their fireplace. So I popped over and asked. They weren't at all and even at that said they had to crack a few doors because their place was getting hazy with smoke. Huh?!?
I called Mike back, and he was very concerned. So he told me to call 911 to have the guys come out and just check to be safe. Ok, so I've never called 911 and I definitely want to keep our home safe, BUT I was super nervous to call because I know it will cause a bit of a ruckus (Yes, I'm that shy and don't like to draw attention to situations). The thing that alarmd me is that just in the past couple weeks, there's been several house fires. It seems to happen everytime it snows, so the firefighters say. So, I call 911 and explain I don't see any smoke but my husband was concerend about the smell, and the girls next door did have some smoke. The dispatcher said they were sending someone over to check it out.
So in the next few minutes comes the giant ladder truck (because we're in a complex on the 2nd floor), another truck, the Rescue, and battalion chief. In come the guys, checking K's room and the attic for signs of heat, etc. They also checked all the neighbors' houses. Of course, during all this Mike is on his way home (as soon as I got off the phone with him before I called 911). They never found the source of the smoke/smell, but they thought it did look like one of our downstairs neighbors had a fire in the fireplace ALL day and since all the pipes are connected, maybe there was a crack in a pipe that caused the upstairs condos to get a draft. That pipe would be SUPER hot after being used all day. I think our property manager is getting the chimney and pipes inspected this week to see if that's what it was.
So VERY thankfully, there was no fire or the start of one. I was definitely nervous, especially with it just being Kaiden and I, plus Mike had the good car because it was snowing. It was kind of cool to see the guys I've met several times and ate dinner with at the station in their actual gear and doing their job. They were so friendly and helpful.
I can now check "calling 911" of my list of things I've never done before. Thank goodness for DFRA!
Thirty minutes later, the smell is super super strong so I put Kaiden in our bed. It was so strong I decided to call Mike up at his parents just to see what he thought and let him know I was concerned that it was THIS strong. When I described what I smelt, he told me to knock on our neighbor's door and see if they (two college girls-very nice) had a fire going in their fireplace. So I popped over and asked. They weren't at all and even at that said they had to crack a few doors because their place was getting hazy with smoke. Huh?!?
I called Mike back, and he was very concerned. So he told me to call 911 to have the guys come out and just check to be safe. Ok, so I've never called 911 and I definitely want to keep our home safe, BUT I was super nervous to call because I know it will cause a bit of a ruckus (Yes, I'm that shy and don't like to draw attention to situations). The thing that alarmd me is that just in the past couple weeks, there's been several house fires. It seems to happen everytime it snows, so the firefighters say. So, I call 911 and explain I don't see any smoke but my husband was concerend about the smell, and the girls next door did have some smoke. The dispatcher said they were sending someone over to check it out.
So in the next few minutes comes the giant ladder truck (because we're in a complex on the 2nd floor), another truck, the Rescue, and battalion chief. In come the guys, checking K's room and the attic for signs of heat, etc. They also checked all the neighbors' houses. Of course, during all this Mike is on his way home (as soon as I got off the phone with him before I called 911). They never found the source of the smoke/smell, but they thought it did look like one of our downstairs neighbors had a fire in the fireplace ALL day and since all the pipes are connected, maybe there was a crack in a pipe that caused the upstairs condos to get a draft. That pipe would be SUPER hot after being used all day. I think our property manager is getting the chimney and pipes inspected this week to see if that's what it was.
So VERY thankfully, there was no fire or the start of one. I was definitely nervous, especially with it just being Kaiden and I, plus Mike had the good car because it was snowing. It was kind of cool to see the guys I've met several times and ate dinner with at the station in their actual gear and doing their job. They were so friendly and helpful.
I can now check "calling 911" of my list of things I've never done before. Thank goodness for DFRA!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
A Thanksgiving Treat
The week of Thanksgiving this year was quite a treat. Grandma Krupa from Michigan came to meet Kaiden! She usually comes during Christmas every year, but this year couldn't get off work and wanted to see Kaiden sooner rather than later. Kaiden is Grandma Krupa's first great-grandchild. We were waiting for her at Mike's parents' house the night she flew in. When she walked in and saw Kaiden, she cried. It was such a sweet moment.
Grandma Krupa is such a fun lady. She's never met a stranger and is one of the most talkative/friendliest ladies I've met. Recently she bought a laptop and has started emailing at the age of 70+! This trip Mike helped her learn how to send pics with an email and how to use her digital camera. So cute! We plan to webcam her soon so she can see Kaiden grow. We always enjoy when Grandma K comes to town, and someday in the next few years we hope to visit her in Michigan! We're very grateful for the wonderful great-grandparents Kaiden has on both sides of our family.
Here's dad, Great Grandma K, and Kaiden playing
Monday, December 7, 2009
Welcome to the random thoughts in the mind of Steph
Here I am waiting for my hubby to come home early. He pulled his back on a fire call tonight, had to go to the ER (protocol even though he's just sore) and has to not work the rest of the evening. I SHOULD go to bed and sleep while K is, but I want to make sure Mikey gets comfortable, plus what better to do than enjoy blogging a random thought... or two?
So I've been thinking about the whole "Santa" fairytale that is big during Christmas and have come to a pretty amusing perspective the past week. Take aside all the fuzziness and fairytale-ness of "Santa" and what do you have?
An obese old man who "sees you while your sleeping", "knows when you're awake", and "knows if you've been bad or good". Plus, you better watch out and not cry? To top that, he so desperately wants to get into your house (bringing gifts of course because he stalks you and knows what you like), that he comes right through your chimney. Why not knock or use the spare key?? You know...with him going down your chimney that's an insurance claim waiting to happen. Either a) because he's old he'll break a bone, or b) he's no Skinny Minni and there's a chance he'll get stuck or his tooshie caught on fire. We all can imagine what happens from there.
Yep, Santa sues chimney owners for not having wide enough chimneys to deliver those gifts.
Nope, he doesn't sound creepy at all. Ha. Then I also think to myself, if Santa slimmed down, would America? Is he promoting obesity with his " belly like a bow full of jelly"? Hello Santa, bellies like a bowl full of jelly (aka JELLO) are SO not "cool" in our society. I wonder if marketers tried the idea and slimmed Santa down, would that motivate children and adults alike to be less obese and more in shape like Santa. How 'bout leaving Santa a granola bar and ice water instead of milk and cookies? Maybe that would cut back on the growing diabetes trend in America. Eh??
Of course, I'm just kidding! It's kind of fun to strip a fuzzy warm character down to reality. It's my sick humor. In real life, I probably wouldn't care for the stalker/obese man that songs portray Santa to be. Although St. Nick was a good man who really did help people.
Anyone reading this just might be thinking...poor Kaiden, he'll have such a twisted view of Santa. No worries, we'll have fun silliness with the whole Santa "thing" and I'll definitely keep my cynical humor to myself. I do LOVE Christmas time: the stories, the lights, the music, the real Reason we celebrate, and even the fun silliness that is Santa!
So I've been thinking about the whole "Santa" fairytale that is big during Christmas and have come to a pretty amusing perspective the past week. Take aside all the fuzziness and fairytale-ness of "Santa" and what do you have?
An obese old man who "sees you while your sleeping", "knows when you're awake", and "knows if you've been bad or good". Plus, you better watch out and not cry? To top that, he so desperately wants to get into your house (bringing gifts of course because he stalks you and knows what you like), that he comes right through your chimney. Why not knock or use the spare key?? You know...with him going down your chimney that's an insurance claim waiting to happen. Either a) because he's old he'll break a bone, or b) he's no Skinny Minni and there's a chance he'll get stuck or his tooshie caught on fire. We all can imagine what happens from there.
Yep, Santa sues chimney owners for not having wide enough chimneys to deliver those gifts.
Nope, he doesn't sound creepy at all. Ha. Then I also think to myself, if Santa slimmed down, would America? Is he promoting obesity with his " belly like a bow full of jelly"? Hello Santa, bellies like a bowl full of jelly (aka JELLO) are SO not "cool" in our society. I wonder if marketers tried the idea and slimmed Santa down, would that motivate children and adults alike to be less obese and more in shape like Santa. How 'bout leaving Santa a granola bar and ice water instead of milk and cookies? Maybe that would cut back on the growing diabetes trend in America. Eh??
Of course, I'm just kidding! It's kind of fun to strip a fuzzy warm character down to reality. It's my sick humor. In real life, I probably wouldn't care for the stalker/obese man that songs portray Santa to be. Although St. Nick was a good man who really did help people.
Anyone reading this just might be thinking...poor Kaiden, he'll have such a twisted view of Santa. No worries, we'll have fun silliness with the whole Santa "thing" and I'll definitely keep my cynical humor to myself. I do LOVE Christmas time: the stories, the lights, the music, the real Reason we celebrate, and even the fun silliness that is Santa!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Three months and counting
Kaiden will be three months old on this Monday, December 7th! I cannot believe how fast it is going. We so enjoy him everyday! He is cooing more than ever and is super smiley when you talk to him. He's trying to laugh outloud but hasn't quite figured it out. It more comes out like a cough/smile/gurggle with little feet kicking turbo style.
He always keeps me guessing on something every week: why he'll have green poop for a few days, how to get rid of irritation on his scalp, or why he's fussy nursing for a spell. I hear it's only the beginning on guessing the"whys", but it surely is fun. I have to say I have wonderful friends that are moms themselves who are willing to answer my weekly "What do I do questions". They're awesome!
He always keeps me guessing on something every week: why he'll have green poop for a few days, how to get rid of irritation on his scalp, or why he's fussy nursing for a spell. I hear it's only the beginning on guessing the"whys", but it surely is fun. I have to say I have wonderful friends that are moms themselves who are willing to answer my weekly "What do I do questions". They're awesome!
These days, Kaiden is trying to hold his up all by himself, and he is working hard to try to sit up on his own. It's too cute! Some things he enjoys are: getting his diaper changed-he gets so happy on the changing table, singing songs with hand motions, playing on his back batting at Mr. Frog, sucking on his paci to go to sleep, and snuggling.
Things K doesn't enjoy are: having a dirty/wet diaper on, being up past nap time, being held like a baby-he likes to sit facing the world now, and getting buckled in his car seat-he's sooo not a fan of that.
Here's his favorite hobbies we have pics of:
lots of sleeping...
lots of playing with dad...and mom but no pic yet
lots of reading...
and being QUITE the adorable turkey! Couldn't you just gobble him up?!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
One last catchup story
Kaiden is the first grandchild for both my parents and Mike's parents. He's the first GREAT grandchild for my mom's parents and for Mike's Grandma Krupa. So inevitably, there'll be quite a bit of spoiling and loving for the little man! I don't' want to forget the many blessings we received when Kaiden was born. Both Mike's immediate family and extended family have sent cards and gifts galore to welcome our son!
When Kaiden was born, he was very blessed to have Mike's grandparents, parents, brother, sister, and brother-in-law here to meet him. Mike's grandparents and parents were both quite generous! The great grandparents bought us a jogger stroller/car seat combo. It's so deluxe and perfect for our mountain town home! Mike's parents also blessed us with a baby swing, a pack-n-play, and the funds to get a very nice backpack as our diaper bag. Here's a few pics of Kaiden's great-Grandma and Grandpa Sinclair and his grandparents: Nonna and Grandpa.
(Mike's Grandma and Grandpa Sinclair with Kaiden)
(Mike's mom and Kaiden)
(Mike's dad and Kaiden)
A week and a half later, my grandparents were able to bring my mom with them for a visit to meet the new grandson/great-grandson. My mom stayed with us and was super helpful with dishes, laundry, and rocking Kaiden lots. She brought Kaiden several books to start on his collection. She's a librarian and finds amazing deals on book selections. My dad couldn't take anymore days off this year because of a back surgery he had. So he didn't get to meet Kaiden on this trip.
(My mom, me, and Kaiden)
(a four generation pic)
This January Kaiden gets to meet my brothers and sister-in-law: Uncle Zack, Aunty Meg, and Uncle Joe! It'll be very exciting to have them come here! Kaiden is very blessed to have family in his life who love him dearly.Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Ahh, my 7th grader
Today I took my 7th grade class to Starbucks to enjoy a tasty beverage out of the classroom and discuss life and a homework assignment! There's only one girl in my class, and with the questions she was asking me it seemed like she didn't order on her own much. After we hashed out ideas, she started to tell me what she wanted and started to hand me her money. So I told her ok, just tell the person behind the counter what you just told me, and YOU give them the money. It was her first time ever in a Starbucks! Crazy, huh? I suggested a hot chocolate to her because she wasn't really a coffee drinker. Thankfully, she had drank hot chocolate before. Whew!
So as we are in line, we're standing in front of the pastries, and I am recomending different ones to her (I used to work there and did lots of sampling-yum!). After I pointed out a few I thought were delicious, she said "So that's why you brought us here, so you could eat all of these. Ya know, my older sister eats stuff all the time she shouldn't eat."
I'm thinking but not speaking: Say what?? Oh honey...
I nicely replied that I wasn't going to get anything to eat, just a drink. I honestly think she thought I was going to mow down on pastries!
So as we are in line, we're standing in front of the pastries, and I am recomending different ones to her (I used to work there and did lots of sampling-yum!). After I pointed out a few I thought were delicious, she said "So that's why you brought us here, so you could eat all of these. Ya know, my older sister eats stuff all the time she shouldn't eat."
I'm thinking but not speaking: Say what?? Oh honey...
I nicely replied that I wasn't going to get anything to eat, just a drink. I honestly think she thought I was going to mow down on pastries!
Monday, November 16, 2009
My cup runs over
Tonight, Mikey is at work. While Kaiden has been awake in between naps this evening, we've been singing... worship songs, silly made up mommy song, and Christmas songs. I have to introduce Christmas songs to him at a young age because of how much we LOVE Christmas!
So what does Kaiden do? This evening every time I have started to sing to him, he starts to "coo" right along with me, and his eyes just sparkle. It is the most precious thing, and my heart has melted into a puddle all evening. When I stop singing, he stops coo-ing and just sits there gazing at me. He's singing WITH mommy! I've got to get it on video; this is something I can't forget.
My cup runs over... as does my love for our son.
So what does Kaiden do? This evening every time I have started to sing to him, he starts to "coo" right along with me, and his eyes just sparkle. It is the most precious thing, and my heart has melted into a puddle all evening. When I stop singing, he stops coo-ing and just sits there gazing at me. He's singing WITH mommy! I've got to get it on video; this is something I can't forget.
My cup runs over... as does my love for our son.
Friday, November 6, 2009
My never ending girly project
A woman's hair...is a forever project! At least in my world. I think the majority of women do this, but I'm always looking for new ways to cut/color my hair. My latest dilemma? I've been growing my hair out for sometime, and it's long and healthy now except... I never fix or wear it down! I always put my hair back because of my new lack of time (due to motherhood) and my hair takes forever to blow dry, especially being longer. That's my big complaint about thick hair, but at least I'm not balding. For that, I'm seriously thankful. Anyway, up here in the dry Colorado air, I can't quite get the natural curl going like I used to sport in Okie country. That's the ONLY nice thing about humidity is the plus for curly hair. So now I personally like my hair straight , but it takes way too long these days.
The solution? A fresh hairdo! I'm consider a longer bob but then I can't pull it back at all. Maybe something a bit past the shoulders instead, or maybe just a healthy trim? Whatever I do, it needs to be something that I can fix easily. That's why my thought is to lose some inches because then it doesn't take as long to dry and my CHI straightener does a kick-A job to straighten in minutes! I shouldn't do something too short because double chins are quite prevalent in my family, and I still need to lose a few baby pounds in the next few months. I've also read that heart-shaped faces should stay away from choppy layers (definitely!) and blunt cut bangs, instead I should do a side-swept bangage (is that a word? sound kind of kinky?)
Mikey will chuckle reading this because I'm always threatening/brainstorming about my hair...chopping, going blond, getting bangs. Blah, blah, blah. I'm all talk! I myself am amused because I'm realizing it will probably be a life process to find the hairstyle that makes me happy simply because my life will always be changing; therefore, my hair will be too. Right?
I'm really not a vain person, just a nearly 30 year old (gasp!!) needing a new 'do and what better way to brainstorm than to blog, mainly to amuse myself! Tonight, I think it's relaxing to write.
Here's the style I like the best so far. I might do a longer version of it, not the color. I also bought a hair mag from Walmart today. I'm a visual type of girl and need a pic. A week from Tuesday, we'll see what happens!!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A chill Halloween this year
Last year, a lot of our friends got together for a slammin' costume party for Halloween. Mikey and I made our own batman and catwoman costumes. They were p-retty sweet if I say so myself. We had great food and great fun!!
This year, life is a bit different. With having such a little guy, we didn't have the time or energy to make costumes or plan a party. Friday night we had a few (too many for our small house we found out) couples over to make home-made caramel apples and hang out. Saturday after we got home from helping with the DFRA candy booth at the mall (SO many cute kid costumes there!) Mikey and I made dinner, watched movies, and carved pumpkins at home. It was a super enjoyable chill evening with my little family. Funny how life changes, and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
Monday, November 2, 2009
The guessing game
So I have to admit...about a half hour after blogging a doting post about my son, he then began to meltdown for the rest of the day and well into the evening. I then began the guessing game :)
Mike had gone to help his dad work on putting up his new shop before the next snow comes. So Kaiden and I spent the day together. I had to get lesson plans done for the week. I start back teaching on Wednesday.
Yesterday morning we went to church. Kaiden dozed off during worship but then woke up during the sermon and wouldn't settle back down. So that's the first nap interrupted and shot. Then I fed him when we got home, and he fell asleep for a 30 minute nap and wouldn't settle back down again. From there it was all down hill. In fact, my nerves were shot by the time Mike got home because I had never had Kaiden seriously freak on me that badly. He got so worked up whether I held him or laid him down.
Of course I went through the checklist and so begins my guessing game...
Was he hungry? nope, he had a great full feeding
Was he wet/dirty? nope, just changed the d before putting him down
Was he in pain? really didn't sound like it, but I gave him a bit of gas medicine in case it was something I ate to make his tummy hurt
Did he need to burp? nope, tried that several different times
Did he want to be unswaddled or swaddled? no clue, he cried either way
Was he exhausted? YES! Beyond exhausted because he usually naps an hour and a half at each nap and hadn't had one of those from 10 am to 8pm.
So my final conclusion, come today, was that he was so tired he didn't know what he wanted AND possibly had a tummy ache after all. He had a couple of poopy diapers in the middle of the night that were had a tad bit of green tint, which means something probably did upset his tummy. Maybe it was his being so worked up? He slept awesome all night and is napping better today, but I'm not going to dote too much because it's only 1 in the afternoon and he could prove me wrong, as cute as he still is :)
And so the guessing game continues...
Mike had gone to help his dad work on putting up his new shop before the next snow comes. So Kaiden and I spent the day together. I had to get lesson plans done for the week. I start back teaching on Wednesday.
Yesterday morning we went to church. Kaiden dozed off during worship but then woke up during the sermon and wouldn't settle back down. So that's the first nap interrupted and shot. Then I fed him when we got home, and he fell asleep for a 30 minute nap and wouldn't settle back down again. From there it was all down hill. In fact, my nerves were shot by the time Mike got home because I had never had Kaiden seriously freak on me that badly. He got so worked up whether I held him or laid him down.
Of course I went through the checklist and so begins my guessing game...
Was he hungry? nope, he had a great full feeding
Was he wet/dirty? nope, just changed the d before putting him down
Was he in pain? really didn't sound like it, but I gave him a bit of gas medicine in case it was something I ate to make his tummy hurt
Did he need to burp? nope, tried that several different times
Did he want to be unswaddled or swaddled? no clue, he cried either way
Was he exhausted? YES! Beyond exhausted because he usually naps an hour and a half at each nap and hadn't had one of those from 10 am to 8pm.
So my final conclusion, come today, was that he was so tired he didn't know what he wanted AND possibly had a tummy ache after all. He had a couple of poopy diapers in the middle of the night that were had a tad bit of green tint, which means something probably did upset his tummy. Maybe it was his being so worked up? He slept awesome all night and is napping better today, but I'm not going to dote too much because it's only 1 in the afternoon and he could prove me wrong, as cute as he still is :)
And so the guessing game continues...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
There's nothing like...
There's nothing like sweet sleepy/awake smiles that instantly melt your heart...
There's nothing like starting to hear a little boy's voice "coo", especially when he snuggles his head on my shoulder and let's out a sweet *sigh*...
There's nothing like having a husband who loves to play with our son, gets up in the middle of the night to help me when I need it, changes diapers, gives K baths, cooks, cleans, and still takes time to snuggle me. He takes such good care of us...
There's nothing like watching cute little feet start to kick, kick, kick in the air ...
There's nothing like still loving to watch Cheaper by the Dozen and still tearing up when Mark runs away and his dad finds him on the train, headed toward his favorite place back home. There's probably more tears on that part now that I'm a parent and imagine that happening...
There's nothing like praying together over Kaiden each night when we put him down to go to sleep...
There's nothing like having a son that takes after me in more ways than one. This morning he sneezed and farted at the same time, twice. So happened to me in a college class. So loud and embarrassing... I'm so proud?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Such a fun surprise!
Can I just say I LOVE surprises? When someone takes the time to plan something to bring you sheer delight, it's a treasured moment for me. On the other hand, I also LOVE surprising people I love. It's so fun to plan something just right for someone to show how much you care.
I think the top three best surprises in my life have been when 1) a couple close friends in OK threw a surprise birthday for me because I'd never had one before, plus they pulled it off really well, 2) when Mikey proposed to me on our first trip to Oklahoma together...SO had no clue (I was actually nervous he was going to break up with me after meeting my family-haha), and 3) my most recent surprise is the week we came home from the hospital.
So we had Kaiden on Monday and came home Wednesday afternoon. That evening we were all settled in by nine o'clockish. I was sleeping in the recliner because of my stitches, and it was easier being there to get up to feed Kaiden rather than trying to roll out of my bed. Just as we had turned the lights out and got comfy, Mikey gets a phone call, and I hear him giving directions to someone about where we live. Hmm...
Then Mikey walks into the living room, and I ask who it was. He only tells me I have a visitor. Hmm..again. Who in the world would come visit me at 9 at night, knowing I just had a baby?? I asked him who it was, and he simply said it was someone that I hadn't seen in a while. I still no clue. So, he walks outside to make sure whoever was coming was headed to the right apartment. He left the door open as he walked out and a few moments later, sure enough my best girlfriend Deb, from Oklahoma, walks through my doorway! It was seriously like a
time-standing still moment. I couldn't believe she had come.
My response? I BURST into SOBBING tears (never my typical reaction-thank you hormones)that she had driven all day because she didn't want me to be alone (as far as someone I'm really close to) because my family couldn't come for the baby being born. What kind of awesome friend is that? She knew Mikey's family was here, but that it would be different not having someone on my side of the family here to share in the moments and help out. I got out of the recliner (I would have run if I could've) and hugged her like no tomorrow! She also brought our dear friend Tabitha to help her drive the 12 hrs straight through.
The funny part is that while we were in the hospital, she had text me the day before that she felt like jumping in the car and coming to see us. She couldn't stand not being there. As always, I said, "Well, get to jumpin'!". We always joke about me coming over ( 12 hr drive included) for dinner in Oklahoma, or her coming over to my house in Durango for coffee. So it was my usual response when she text me, but little did I know she was seriously doing it!
Thank you Deb and Tab for coming all that way just to be with us those first several days home. We didn't have to entertain, and you were so enjoyable with your company, laughs, and love! It meant the world to me! Love you guys!
(In all the excitement, we didn't get to take pictures of her visit, but this is from May at the baby shower my OK crew threw for us.)
I think the top three best surprises in my life have been when 1) a couple close friends in OK threw a surprise birthday for me because I'd never had one before, plus they pulled it off really well, 2) when Mikey proposed to me on our first trip to Oklahoma together...SO had no clue (I was actually nervous he was going to break up with me after meeting my family-haha), and 3) my most recent surprise is the week we came home from the hospital.
So we had Kaiden on Monday and came home Wednesday afternoon. That evening we were all settled in by nine o'clockish. I was sleeping in the recliner because of my stitches, and it was easier being there to get up to feed Kaiden rather than trying to roll out of my bed. Just as we had turned the lights out and got comfy, Mikey gets a phone call, and I hear him giving directions to someone about where we live. Hmm...
Then Mikey walks into the living room, and I ask who it was. He only tells me I have a visitor. Hmm..again. Who in the world would come visit me at 9 at night, knowing I just had a baby?? I asked him who it was, and he simply said it was someone that I hadn't seen in a while. I still no clue. So, he walks outside to make sure whoever was coming was headed to the right apartment. He left the door open as he walked out and a few moments later, sure enough my best girlfriend Deb, from Oklahoma, walks through my doorway! It was seriously like a
time-standing still moment. I couldn't believe she had come.
My response? I BURST into SOBBING tears (never my typical reaction-thank you hormones)that she had driven all day because she didn't want me to be alone (as far as someone I'm really close to) because my family couldn't come for the baby being born. What kind of awesome friend is that? She knew Mikey's family was here, but that it would be different not having someone on my side of the family here to share in the moments and help out. I got out of the recliner (I would have run if I could've) and hugged her like no tomorrow! She also brought our dear friend Tabitha to help her drive the 12 hrs straight through.
The funny part is that while we were in the hospital, she had text me the day before that she felt like jumping in the car and coming to see us. She couldn't stand not being there. As always, I said, "Well, get to jumpin'!". We always joke about me coming over ( 12 hr drive included) for dinner in Oklahoma, or her coming over to my house in Durango for coffee. So it was my usual response when she text me, but little did I know she was seriously doing it!
Thank you Deb and Tab for coming all that way just to be with us those first several days home. We didn't have to entertain, and you were so enjoyable with your company, laughs, and love! It meant the world to me! Love you guys!
(In all the excitement, we didn't get to take pictures of her visit, but this is from May at the baby shower my OK crew threw for us.)
Monday, October 26, 2009
Mrs. cranky pants
Yep, that's me the past two days. I seem to be quite the cranky person the past couple days. I think I still need to learn that everyone has a bad day now and then, and that's ok. However, most of the time I feel bad to have a bad day, but I'm thinking if I write some of my thoughts out, I'll realize what's wrong or that it's not so bad. We'll see. Here are some "maybes" I've come up with as to why I'm so aggravated and frustrated...
maybe... it's because of this crick in my neck, good grief how much it hurts
maybe... it's because of very unnerving dreams I had Saturday night, making me wake up Sunday on the wrong side of the bed and very upset
maybe... it's because we overslept going to church Sunday and I was looking forward to going but we did catch up on much needed rest now having a newborn, and that is a good thing
maybe... it's the last of these wretched post partum hormones that make my emotions a wreck
maybe... it's not being able to be with people much. As much of a quiet person who loves to be productive in getting things done, I'm SUCH a people person. Quality time is my love language and when I don't get that with people I love and enjoy, it starts getting to me. Friends are busy with their own lives, and it's seriously a mo-fo to try to plan getting together. Plus, lots of people are sick this time of year, which I'm trying to avoid being around with so young of a little guy
maybe... it's because I'm feeling with frustrations with my parents. I'm so different and have much different perspectives and thinking than they do. Where do I fit in? Where do I fit in with my husband's family? It's like who I am is in the middle of two very different extremes, so I feel I don't fit either way
maybe... it's because I still can't fit into my pre-prego jeans and we don't have extra shopping money to go buy new ones because I haven't been working the past 6 weeks. The flip side of that is that I did get the ok from my midwife to start exercising...a very good thing!
maybe...it's because I need to give myself more grace. I'm think I'm very disappointed in myself for not being much fun to be around. At least that's how I feel. I miss goofing off and not worrying this much what people think. It's like this mothering instinct has taken over to where I worry a lot more and am so tired that a lot of things get to me quickly. The worst thing to me someone could say about me is that I'm not fun to be around, and if that's how I feel about myself at the moment, that makes me sad.
On the other hand, life isn't bad at all. There are lots of good things I can and should think about instead!
*I have a wonderful healthy, new son, who is cuddly and sweet and have a MOST helpful husband
*When I go back to work next week, it's only 3 days a week til 12:30 in the afternoon PLUS we have a very trusting friend who'll come over to watch Kaiden on the days Mikey is on shift and can't watch him.
* Our bills are paid, though there's not fun/extra money until I get a few paychecks ,and we haven't fallen behind on any payments with me not working
*My husband's job has awesome insurance where we only pay 20% of delivery/newborn care and we don't have a monthly premium to pay. Thank you DFRA!
*I got to go on a walk with a dear friend today, who even brought me homemade icecream-mint chocolate chip for that, my favorite.
* I have another girlfriend who is taking the time to come visit in two weeks because she can't wait til March to see our new son
* We have our cozy apartment to settle in for the winter, fireplace and hot chocolate stocked.
* I get to do something I love for my job, that is teaching and being with my middle schoolers! I'm blessed to teach in a Christian environment where there's freedom to encourage kids in their walk with God and see their character, not just academics developed.
* The holidays are on their way! Grandma Krupa is coming for Thanksgiving (she's so fun) and my brother and sister-in-law come the week after Christmas! Plus, we LOVE Christmas time and how fun it will be to start our own family traditions with our sweet Kaiden here now.
* I have a wonderful nanny and pa who take time to show their love and care so much for Mikey, Kaiden, and I. They email/call often, send the best home-made cookies, and love anytime they can.
So maybe "journaling" this has helped today. I feel lighter thinking on and writing about the good things but also being able to be HONEST about other things I struggle with. As everyone is, I'm a work in progress. Thank you God for your grace!
maybe... it's because of this crick in my neck, good grief how much it hurts
maybe... it's because of very unnerving dreams I had Saturday night, making me wake up Sunday on the wrong side of the bed and very upset
maybe... it's because we overslept going to church Sunday and I was looking forward to going but we did catch up on much needed rest now having a newborn, and that is a good thing
maybe... it's the last of these wretched post partum hormones that make my emotions a wreck
maybe... it's not being able to be with people much. As much of a quiet person who loves to be productive in getting things done, I'm SUCH a people person. Quality time is my love language and when I don't get that with people I love and enjoy, it starts getting to me. Friends are busy with their own lives, and it's seriously a mo-fo to try to plan getting together. Plus, lots of people are sick this time of year, which I'm trying to avoid being around with so young of a little guy
maybe... it's because I'm feeling with frustrations with my parents. I'm so different and have much different perspectives and thinking than they do. Where do I fit in? Where do I fit in with my husband's family? It's like who I am is in the middle of two very different extremes, so I feel I don't fit either way
maybe... it's because I still can't fit into my pre-prego jeans and we don't have extra shopping money to go buy new ones because I haven't been working the past 6 weeks. The flip side of that is that I did get the ok from my midwife to start exercising...a very good thing!
maybe...it's because I need to give myself more grace. I'm think I'm very disappointed in myself for not being much fun to be around. At least that's how I feel. I miss goofing off and not worrying this much what people think. It's like this mothering instinct has taken over to where I worry a lot more and am so tired that a lot of things get to me quickly. The worst thing to me someone could say about me is that I'm not fun to be around, and if that's how I feel about myself at the moment, that makes me sad.
On the other hand, life isn't bad at all. There are lots of good things I can and should think about instead!
*I have a wonderful healthy, new son, who is cuddly and sweet and have a MOST helpful husband
*When I go back to work next week, it's only 3 days a week til 12:30 in the afternoon PLUS we have a very trusting friend who'll come over to watch Kaiden on the days Mikey is on shift and can't watch him.
* Our bills are paid, though there's not fun/extra money until I get a few paychecks ,and we haven't fallen behind on any payments with me not working
*My husband's job has awesome insurance where we only pay 20% of delivery/newborn care and we don't have a monthly premium to pay. Thank you DFRA!
*I got to go on a walk with a dear friend today, who even brought me homemade icecream-mint chocolate chip for that, my favorite.
* I have another girlfriend who is taking the time to come visit in two weeks because she can't wait til March to see our new son
* We have our cozy apartment to settle in for the winter, fireplace and hot chocolate stocked.
* I get to do something I love for my job, that is teaching and being with my middle schoolers! I'm blessed to teach in a Christian environment where there's freedom to encourage kids in their walk with God and see their character, not just academics developed.
* The holidays are on their way! Grandma Krupa is coming for Thanksgiving (she's so fun) and my brother and sister-in-law come the week after Christmas! Plus, we LOVE Christmas time and how fun it will be to start our own family traditions with our sweet Kaiden here now.
* I have a wonderful nanny and pa who take time to show their love and care so much for Mikey, Kaiden, and I. They email/call often, send the best home-made cookies, and love anytime they can.
So maybe "journaling" this has helped today. I feel lighter thinking on and writing about the good things but also being able to be HONEST about other things I struggle with. As everyone is, I'm a work in progress. Thank you God for your grace!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Back in action!
So I'm attempting to blog again in hopes to now remember all the moments, stories, and thoughts now being a mom and watching our family grow and change! I have to admit I LOVE to buy journals, very trendy modern ones for that; however, I never make it past the first week in journaling my thoughts. It's been this way for years! I think I've finally come to grips with the fact that I'm a TERRIBLE journal er. So, here's to blogging...my other option because I could print my blog over the year as a cute book and THAT could count as my journal!
Mikey and I are now proud parents of our son Kaiden Michael! He was born Monday, September 7 at 2:49 pm. He's now 5 weeks old two days ago. I can't believe how much he's growing! We absolutely LOVE being parents, despite how tired we are. I honestly never thought I'd enjoy being a mom this much, and my hubby is the BOMB at helping with everything. It's so hard to believe how much love we both have for him!
He was quite the little guy being 6lb 8 oz when he was born. I don't think people are used to seeing a smaller baby because I usually get tons of comments on how little he is! He is a VERY snugly and mostly content little boy. He usually sleeps and eats well and has lots of funny expressions. He is a very strong boy. Every since we brought him home from the hospital, he's been trying to hold his head up. When he gets excited or mad, his little body is quite strong with how tense he gets. We aren't quite sure who he looks the most like. At different moments, he looks like both Mike and I when we were babies . Some people say so far he has Mike's nose and my lips. We both were pretty bald as babies, so I'm quite impressed at how much hair (even though it's not much) he does have.
So the story of my labor was contractions started on Friday, Sept 4 about 20 minutes apart through the day and night til Sunday evening. I was soo glad to make it through teaching that day! I didn't want to scar middle school students I teach by poppin' out a baby in class, plus Mikey was on shift that Friday, and I was by myself at home that night, making us both super nervous :) ... Contractions continued til Sunday, and our midwife suggested Sunday we go to the hospital to get checked to see how far I was dilated. When we went I was a two, but I was 80% effaced. So at least something was happening! Come Sunday night, my contractions were hard and 10 minutes apart, and again Mikey was on shift. By eight that evening, I was in tears from being so uncomfortable and tired from being in pre-labor since Friday morning. So he came home that evening, and around 5 that Monday morning my contractions were 5 minutes apart. After a call to the midwife, that was our ok to head to the hospital!
When we got there they were able to give me some light pain med and, I was dilated to a 5 by nine that morning, which I could then get an epidural... thank God for that!! After the epi, I was able to get some rest which I hadn't been able to do since Friday. Come about one o'clock that afternoon, I was fully dilated and ready to push. They had given me petossin a few hours before that to speed my contractions back up. I was very comfortable compared to what I had been those few days before. So with Mikey, the midwife, and hospital nurse, I started pushing. It was very calm and going smoothly. I was actually looking forward to finally pushing little man out! After pushing for about half an hour, Amy (midwife) said his head wasn't dropping enough and a c-section MIGHT be a possibility but she wanted me to push a bit more and see. So I pushed another half hour and after checking again, my cervix was starting to swell (which could damage future baby Krupas), and his head still wasn't dropping. She said we could still try to push, but she felt things wouldn't change. So we trusted her advice and a
c-section it was.
Talk about a quick switch in thinking! The whole time a last several appointments, Kaiden's head had been down, so we hadn't considered a c-section as a possibility. Of course, we wanted to do what was in his best interest. His heartbeat was fine the whole time, so nothing was emergent. However, I was honestly terrified. I've NEVER liked doctors, needles, or much less a surgery! So after an hour delay (because of someone else needing an emergency c-section-which was a sad story), we were ready to roll. As they prep-ed me, Mikey was in a different room than the OR. I thought I was going to seriously break down I was so scared... the big lights, the thought of a spinal, and seeing the instruments was more than I could handle. The nurse was so sweet ( we have only good things to say about Mercy's birthing center staff!!) and just talked with me as I closed my eyes and let tears softly flow. As soon as the spinal kicked in and I was on the table ready, Mikey came in and was with me-thank God! I remember still feeling terrified I couldn't feel my legs but relieved because I couldn't feel them slicing me open :) When they pulled Kaiden out, and I heard his cry I remember thinking it was the sweetest little cry and more tears came, happy ones. I vaguely remember Mikey bringing Kaiden over to me to kiss him, and he went with the Kaiden and the nurse to the nursery while I went to post-op to recover, which felt like forever because I still hadn't been able to hold my baby boy!
So that's the beginning of our lives as parents! Everything ended up going smoothly in spite of a c-section. I got to spend time with Mike and Kaiden as soon as I got out of post-op, although I was still pretty groggy (photo below). Baby K latched on with b-feeding right away (no photo for that-ha!). More thoughts on that first week of Kaiden being here on another post. This has turned out to be quite lengthy, but I have a LOT to catch up on :)
Mikey and I are now proud parents of our son Kaiden Michael! He was born Monday, September 7 at 2:49 pm. He's now 5 weeks old two days ago. I can't believe how much he's growing! We absolutely LOVE being parents, despite how tired we are. I honestly never thought I'd enjoy being a mom this much, and my hubby is the BOMB at helping with everything. It's so hard to believe how much love we both have for him!
He was quite the little guy being 6lb 8 oz when he was born. I don't think people are used to seeing a smaller baby because I usually get tons of comments on how little he is! He is a VERY snugly and mostly content little boy. He usually sleeps and eats well and has lots of funny expressions. He is a very strong boy. Every since we brought him home from the hospital, he's been trying to hold his head up. When he gets excited or mad, his little body is quite strong with how tense he gets. We aren't quite sure who he looks the most like. At different moments, he looks like both Mike and I when we were babies . Some people say so far he has Mike's nose and my lips. We both were pretty bald as babies, so I'm quite impressed at how much hair (even though it's not much) he does have.
So the story of my labor was contractions started on Friday, Sept 4 about 20 minutes apart through the day and night til Sunday evening. I was soo glad to make it through teaching that day! I didn't want to scar middle school students I teach by poppin' out a baby in class, plus Mikey was on shift that Friday, and I was by myself at home that night, making us both super nervous :) ... Contractions continued til Sunday, and our midwife suggested Sunday we go to the hospital to get checked to see how far I was dilated. When we went I was a two, but I was 80% effaced. So at least something was happening! Come Sunday night, my contractions were hard and 10 minutes apart, and again Mikey was on shift. By eight that evening, I was in tears from being so uncomfortable and tired from being in pre-labor since Friday morning. So he came home that evening, and around 5 that Monday morning my contractions were 5 minutes apart. After a call to the midwife, that was our ok to head to the hospital!
When we got there they were able to give me some light pain med and, I was dilated to a 5 by nine that morning, which I could then get an epidural... thank God for that!! After the epi, I was able to get some rest which I hadn't been able to do since Friday. Come about one o'clock that afternoon, I was fully dilated and ready to push. They had given me petossin a few hours before that to speed my contractions back up. I was very comfortable compared to what I had been those few days before. So with Mikey, the midwife, and hospital nurse, I started pushing. It was very calm and going smoothly. I was actually looking forward to finally pushing little man out! After pushing for about half an hour, Amy (midwife) said his head wasn't dropping enough and a c-section MIGHT be a possibility but she wanted me to push a bit more and see. So I pushed another half hour and after checking again, my cervix was starting to swell (which could damage future baby Krupas), and his head still wasn't dropping. She said we could still try to push, but she felt things wouldn't change. So we trusted her advice and a
c-section it was.
Talk about a quick switch in thinking! The whole time a last several appointments, Kaiden's head had been down, so we hadn't considered a c-section as a possibility. Of course, we wanted to do what was in his best interest. His heartbeat was fine the whole time, so nothing was emergent. However, I was honestly terrified. I've NEVER liked doctors, needles, or much less a surgery! So after an hour delay (because of someone else needing an emergency c-section-which was a sad story), we were ready to roll. As they prep-ed me, Mikey was in a different room than the OR. I thought I was going to seriously break down I was so scared... the big lights, the thought of a spinal, and seeing the instruments was more than I could handle. The nurse was so sweet ( we have only good things to say about Mercy's birthing center staff!!) and just talked with me as I closed my eyes and let tears softly flow. As soon as the spinal kicked in and I was on the table ready, Mikey came in and was with me-thank God! I remember still feeling terrified I couldn't feel my legs but relieved because I couldn't feel them slicing me open :) When they pulled Kaiden out, and I heard his cry I remember thinking it was the sweetest little cry and more tears came, happy ones. I vaguely remember Mikey bringing Kaiden over to me to kiss him, and he went with the Kaiden and the nurse to the nursery while I went to post-op to recover, which felt like forever because I still hadn't been able to hold my baby boy!
So that's the beginning of our lives as parents! Everything ended up going smoothly in spite of a c-section. I got to spend time with Mike and Kaiden as soon as I got out of post-op, although I was still pretty groggy (photo below). Baby K latched on with b-feeding right away (no photo for that-ha!). More thoughts on that first week of Kaiden being here on another post. This has turned out to be quite lengthy, but I have a LOT to catch up on :)
Friday, May 15, 2009
Determination
This weekend I came to Cripple Creek, CO with Mikey for a training conference he is taking. We haven't had much time together the past month, so it was a fun chance to spend some time together driving and hanging out in the evenings. Since I'm flying solo during the day in this tiny mountain town, I've had lots of time to think and reflect on everything :) So why not blog about a few of those thoughts!
I feel I've come to a new phase in my life and walk with God. I feel a new determination in my heart and spirit. So here's a few things I feel I need to express my determination to work on. I think so many times, we have to make a conscious choice to allow God to work in us and make a conscious choice to get past hurdles.
-I'm determined to give it my BEST shot in ADJUSTING as we become parents and enter a new phase in life, realizing this will also change Mike and I's relationship together
- I'm determined to learn to get over things quickly and not hold onto grudges. This is NOT a gene that runs in my family or something I've been taught. I think it's even more difficult being a woman and all the emotions that come with us. I'm seeing too many years of bitterness and unforgiveness over small and big things. I want to learn to forgive and move on quickly!
-I'm determined to be content wherever I am. Before I moved to Durango, I got a couple of prophetic words to not put roots down, and I think I took that too literally. Mike and I are open to wherever God would lead us together. Until then, Durango it is! So I'm learning to make it home :)
-I'm determined to have fun with my kids: silly nicknames for things, praying together, making up crazy dances, laughing together, going on mission trips when they are young, playing the best pranks on their dad....all things I didn't get to enjoy alot growing up, although God has brought awesome friends into my life to fill some void there. I want a JOYFUL home with our new growing family!
-I'm determined to allow God to put His confidence back in me. I can tell I've lost a lot of that the past couple years, confidence in who I am and the ability to build relationships. It's time for a refill and to let the jewel of a person that He's placed inside of me out to shine for others to see...again. When I'm more confident in knowing and living who God has made me, I love my husband more fully. I love others more fully. That's what I desire. Mike and I have been prayed over that the past several months was going to be a season of rest and peace. I think with God's peace comes a trust. I don't think there can be true confidence without trusting Him because my confidence needs to come from my trusting Him. I'm grateful for this season of life.
-I'm determined to be a woman of renoun that God has spoken over me, over and over again. A woman of grace and beauty that loves people past personality differences and perspective differences
- I'm determined to find a way to learn to play the drums! I've ALWAYS wanted to, AND I married into a family with the last name of one of the greatest drummers ever... Gene Krupa :) Coincidence? I think not! Maybe I'll throw some singing in there too.
-Lastly, I'm determined to make up as many prego dances as I can with this belly! The other day, I was in the shower jamming to my IPOD and found a pretty fun dance that's all in the knees and a little booty bouncing. Music is one of my very favorite things and it's fun to come up with new ways to jam out even if my mobility is becoming very limited. I know the shimmy will definitely be out. I already have a terrible shimmy, BUT imagine trying to shimmy being fully prego...you'd topple over!
I feel I've come to a new phase in my life and walk with God. I feel a new determination in my heart and spirit. So here's a few things I feel I need to express my determination to work on. I think so many times, we have to make a conscious choice to allow God to work in us and make a conscious choice to get past hurdles.
-I'm determined to give it my BEST shot in ADJUSTING as we become parents and enter a new phase in life, realizing this will also change Mike and I's relationship together
- I'm determined to learn to get over things quickly and not hold onto grudges. This is NOT a gene that runs in my family or something I've been taught. I think it's even more difficult being a woman and all the emotions that come with us. I'm seeing too many years of bitterness and unforgiveness over small and big things. I want to learn to forgive and move on quickly!
-I'm determined to be content wherever I am. Before I moved to Durango, I got a couple of prophetic words to not put roots down, and I think I took that too literally. Mike and I are open to wherever God would lead us together. Until then, Durango it is! So I'm learning to make it home :)
-I'm determined to have fun with my kids: silly nicknames for things, praying together, making up crazy dances, laughing together, going on mission trips when they are young, playing the best pranks on their dad....all things I didn't get to enjoy alot growing up, although God has brought awesome friends into my life to fill some void there. I want a JOYFUL home with our new growing family!
-I'm determined to allow God to put His confidence back in me. I can tell I've lost a lot of that the past couple years, confidence in who I am and the ability to build relationships. It's time for a refill and to let the jewel of a person that He's placed inside of me out to shine for others to see...again. When I'm more confident in knowing and living who God has made me, I love my husband more fully. I love others more fully. That's what I desire. Mike and I have been prayed over that the past several months was going to be a season of rest and peace. I think with God's peace comes a trust. I don't think there can be true confidence without trusting Him because my confidence needs to come from my trusting Him. I'm grateful for this season of life.
-I'm determined to be a woman of renoun that God has spoken over me, over and over again. A woman of grace and beauty that loves people past personality differences and perspective differences
- I'm determined to find a way to learn to play the drums! I've ALWAYS wanted to, AND I married into a family with the last name of one of the greatest drummers ever... Gene Krupa :) Coincidence? I think not! Maybe I'll throw some singing in there too.
-Lastly, I'm determined to make up as many prego dances as I can with this belly! The other day, I was in the shower jamming to my IPOD and found a pretty fun dance that's all in the knees and a little booty bouncing. Music is one of my very favorite things and it's fun to come up with new ways to jam out even if my mobility is becoming very limited. I know the shimmy will definitely be out. I already have a terrible shimmy, BUT imagine trying to shimmy being fully prego...you'd topple over!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The Hunt and Hopefully...THE KILL!
So I (Steph) am THOROUGHLY p*ssed off! Today as I was putting away some pots and pans, I discovered mouse pills AGAIN! Let's set something straight from the start. This country girl does NOT do mice. I feel like my home and privacy have been violated. I find it personally insulting (pardon the drama).The audacity of the nasty critter!! Ugh. Last month, we had this same problem for the first time since we've lived in our quaint little apartment. We caught the fatty in the laundry room with a trap (sorry for your mice lovers. I'm really a kind person-lol). So we did major cleaning in our kitchen cabinets, dishes, etc. Mike and I both enjoy keeping a clean home. I can honestly say that. So... where is the evil critter getting in and why?How can anyone be a fan of something that invades your home just to poop EVERYWHERE in it? I would never do that. Neither should mice. I just know it's going to sneak up on my bed at night, when Mikey is on shift, and nibble my toes. I would FREAK! Ok, back to reality...
With that in mind, I'm finishing eating dinner and then heading to City Market to find mouse traps galore. The hunt is on, and the little nuisance is soon to be found! Just to help with any perspective I haven't made clear, if any of you know my husband well, he does NOT like snakes. He freaks out and can't handle seeing one, much less one LIVING in his home. His snake is my mouse. It's all I can do not to call 911 to get him and his guys over here to help me cope. Ok, not really but it describes how I feel!
Disclaimer: Due to pregnancy horomones, Steph's emotions might be a little outlandish/dramatic as she describes her honest thoughts... though her lack of tolerance for mice is very real. Real live mice will be harmed in the next 48 hours with as little violence as possible.
With that in mind, I'm finishing eating dinner and then heading to City Market to find mouse traps galore. The hunt is on, and the little nuisance is soon to be found! Just to help with any perspective I haven't made clear, if any of you know my husband well, he does NOT like snakes. He freaks out and can't handle seeing one, much less one LIVING in his home. His snake is my mouse. It's all I can do not to call 911 to get him and his guys over here to help me cope. Ok, not really but it describes how I feel!
Disclaimer: Due to pregnancy horomones, Steph's emotions might be a little outlandish/dramatic as she describes her honest thoughts... though her lack of tolerance for mice is very real. Real live mice will be harmed in the next 48 hours with as little violence as possible.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A few "firsts"
The past few weeks, we've have had a few fun "firsts" I thought I'd share.
- The first time feeling baby K move around! A couple weekends ago, I felt a "flutter" and paid attention, thinking it might or might not be gas,etc. Sure enough the feeling came back ever since. It feels like a big heartbeat here and there. It's such a fun feeling for the first time. I might be telling a different story in 4 months when the baby doesn't STOP moving, or so I hear :)
- Our first ultrasound, seeing the baby! This past Monday, we had our first ultra sound. The nurse wasn't very friendly at first which was a real bummer for Mikey and I. In the end, she was a lot more people friendly. I had no clue how all this u-sound stuff worked, and she wasn't super friendly in cordially answering basic questions. HOWEVER...we did have a fun "get to know your baby" session, seeing it for the first time. It made this all more real for both of us seeing the little life growing inside my very own body. We got to see nose, lips, lots of spine, and a foot! We think baby K is a boy. He was curled in a ball for most of the apointment. So we go back in four weeks to get better profile pics. The nurse did think she saw a little "willy" in one pic. If it is a boy, this momma got her wish! I've always thought it would be fun to have a boy first. Having grown up with only brothers, I feel more at ease :) Hopefully we'll be able to scan the printed pics they gave us and post them soon.
- The first time Mikey and I have been apart in a long time. This week Mikey has gone to a conference in WinterPark, Colorado. It's a fire education conference, which is right up the alley he loves to work in. He was on his 24 hr shift on Monday, left Tuesday, and gets home tomorrow! Being pregnant has brought a different feeling with him going 8 hours away for the first time for almost a week. He's great, though, with calling and texting. I love having my spouse as my best friend now. I've tried to keep busy and have gotten a lot of school work done, ahead of the game! Come on Friday
- My first breastfeeding class: Let me say that lots of information all at once can be overwhelming to a first time mom! I was the baby "due date" of the group, but I'm all about learning what I can about this whole process even if I have several months to go (it's the teacher in me). I learned a few good techniques of latching on, how many dirty/wet diapers to know they're getting enough, creams that can help, and lots of "earthy" mommy info I didn't see as being practical at all (another soon-to-be blog posting for sure)! They did have great snacks, and it was nice to meet other prego moms who are at different phases of pregnancy. I'm learning to "filter" information, especially living in a heavily populated hippie culture, which is great for some women...not this girl though :)
There are our few new "firsts" from the past few weeks. I'm sure this year will be full of them!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter Baskets :)
This year I made Mikey's Easter "box" hopefully to use in years to come! I found a box and covered it in firefighter themed material.
My basket Mikey hid for me was super tasty: peanut M&Ms (protein), Saltines, Red Hots, and Vanilla Starbucks bottle Frapps. Nice job Mr. Krupa!
Our rockin' Grandma Krupa sent baby Krupa's first Easter basket in the mail. It was a sweet little lamb stuff animal and a couple of receiving blankets. The thought alone made our day! That was incredibly sweet of her.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
A little recap
Tomorrow I start my 16th week of prego-ness! So I thought it would be a little fun to recap what it has been like so far, and dear friends keep asking what it's all like, but we mainly play phone tag and haven't had a chance to catch up! Keep in mind I have pretty sarcastic humor so just remember it's my HUMOR, and I'm honestly ecstatic to be on this little journey of creating life. :)
So far it's been a smooth pregnancy. Thank you God. I was super nauseous the first tri, mainly in the evenings (which is fabulous because I teach in the mornings), but I haven't lost my stomach once yet. Again, thank you God. In the first tri, I couldn't sleep very well at ALL. Now days, I need a good nap and 8 hours of sleep that I seriously snooze straight through without waking up. So nice while I can (so I hear)!!
(Since I'm a definite list person, here's a bit of a breakdown for what it's been like so far.)
Cravings? Nothing out of the ordinary. That first tri, I couldn't stand eating chicken. This was a BIG deal because I have ALWAYS loved chicken. Also, smells would turn me off to certain foods in a heartbeat. Some days, Mikey would come home to the trash can on the porch because I couldn't stand whatever smell was in there. Also, on those nauseous evenings, Cheerios it was for din-din. Mikey is super sweet and cooks and does dishes all the time. Since being prego, seeing the sight of curdled food in a soaking pan disgusts me to no end. The first tri I did crave a lot of fast food, which we really don't eat too often: Sonic coneys, chocolate shakes, french fries, and chicken nuggets were my top num-nums. My midwife gave me the one-a-day treat talk last appointment. So I've really tried to tighten back up on the healthy foods, only water, and a limited sweet treat a day. This too is extremely difficult because I have a HUGE sweet tooth.
Bodily Changes? Lovin the ever-growing boobs for the first time in my life! No complaints there :) The first tri was definitely torture trying to go two-sies. Now days, life in that department is a lot smoother! I'm definitely in the in-between phase of wearing my old clothes (pants that are way too snug for comfort) and being in prego clothes (still way too big). A few weeks ago, we went to Farmington to Target and bought a Bell-a-band. Thank God for whoever invented this little elastic stretchiness of comfort. I can wear my own pants unzipped/unbuttoned, and you really can't tell at all. I do have to say my face takes its turn reverting back to puberty in serious break-outs that take a bit to recover from. That's something I'm not used to again.
Other Changes? Yes! I find my self so stinkin clumsy and forgetful lately. The other morning I dumped 1/4 of the box of Cheerios before they ever got to my breakfast bowl! Then I had to take my cereal to school with me to eat before class (because I'm NOT a morning person and run late often). My bowl, milk included, then dumped all over me while driving. Later that afternoon, I remembered to go grab my cereal bowl out of the car. While picking up the dried Cheerios off the floor from earlier that morning, I somehow managed to dump the last of the milk all in my gear shift of my car. Mikey just laughed. Thank God my prego book says this is totally normal for this time in your life. I also can't remember what I'm supposed to get done, who I'm supposed to call, and have missed several appointments I was supposed to be! If you know me at all, I'm the odd duck in society that enjoys being organized. So this is quite the experience of NOT being that at all. I make lists to help, but then I forget to look at them or can't find them :)
Mood Swings? I honestly haven't been a crazy pregnant woman... yet (haha). I do have a good cry over anything for about 5 minutes every other week, and then I'm fine for the day. I feel my biggest mood swing is being tired and having no energy. I know in my head this is normal, but I FEEL like I'm no fun when I'm so blah physically. Mikey's a great hubby. When he sees the tears start to come on occasion, he just takes me in his arms and holds me, and then life is ok again. He's swell. I think other than being tired, being clumsy and forgetful drive me the most crazy. I do try to take a good walk mostly everyday, which helps with energy and being tired; however, I don't like feeling like I'm incapable of pouring and eating my cereal or carrying my books bags! This is a little unnerving when I think about taking care of a newborn infant. I'm counting on that mothering, non clumsy, instinct to kick in!
So that's a recap of what it's been like so far. Keep in mind I'm super ecstatic to be at this place. I'm excited to feel the baby move so that this all feels more real than just a symptom in my body. We are going to find out what we are having at 20 weeks. The end of April cannot come soon enough! Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and baby in all of this!
So far it's been a smooth pregnancy. Thank you God. I was super nauseous the first tri, mainly in the evenings (which is fabulous because I teach in the mornings), but I haven't lost my stomach once yet. Again, thank you God. In the first tri, I couldn't sleep very well at ALL. Now days, I need a good nap and 8 hours of sleep that I seriously snooze straight through without waking up. So nice while I can (so I hear)!!
(Since I'm a definite list person, here's a bit of a breakdown for what it's been like so far.)
Cravings? Nothing out of the ordinary. That first tri, I couldn't stand eating chicken. This was a BIG deal because I have ALWAYS loved chicken. Also, smells would turn me off to certain foods in a heartbeat. Some days, Mikey would come home to the trash can on the porch because I couldn't stand whatever smell was in there. Also, on those nauseous evenings, Cheerios it was for din-din. Mikey is super sweet and cooks and does dishes all the time. Since being prego, seeing the sight of curdled food in a soaking pan disgusts me to no end. The first tri I did crave a lot of fast food, which we really don't eat too often: Sonic coneys, chocolate shakes, french fries, and chicken nuggets were my top num-nums. My midwife gave me the one-a-day treat talk last appointment. So I've really tried to tighten back up on the healthy foods, only water, and a limited sweet treat a day. This too is extremely difficult because I have a HUGE sweet tooth.
Bodily Changes? Lovin the ever-growing boobs for the first time in my life! No complaints there :) The first tri was definitely torture trying to go two-sies. Now days, life in that department is a lot smoother! I'm definitely in the in-between phase of wearing my old clothes (pants that are way too snug for comfort) and being in prego clothes (still way too big). A few weeks ago, we went to Farmington to Target and bought a Bell-a-band. Thank God for whoever invented this little elastic stretchiness of comfort. I can wear my own pants unzipped/unbuttoned, and you really can't tell at all. I do have to say my face takes its turn reverting back to puberty in serious break-outs that take a bit to recover from. That's something I'm not used to again.
Other Changes? Yes! I find my self so stinkin clumsy and forgetful lately. The other morning I dumped 1/4 of the box of Cheerios before they ever got to my breakfast bowl! Then I had to take my cereal to school with me to eat before class (because I'm NOT a morning person and run late often). My bowl, milk included, then dumped all over me while driving. Later that afternoon, I remembered to go grab my cereal bowl out of the car. While picking up the dried Cheerios off the floor from earlier that morning, I somehow managed to dump the last of the milk all in my gear shift of my car. Mikey just laughed. Thank God my prego book says this is totally normal for this time in your life. I also can't remember what I'm supposed to get done, who I'm supposed to call, and have missed several appointments I was supposed to be! If you know me at all, I'm the odd duck in society that enjoys being organized. So this is quite the experience of NOT being that at all. I make lists to help, but then I forget to look at them or can't find them :)
Mood Swings? I honestly haven't been a crazy pregnant woman... yet (haha). I do have a good cry over anything for about 5 minutes every other week, and then I'm fine for the day. I feel my biggest mood swing is being tired and having no energy. I know in my head this is normal, but I FEEL like I'm no fun when I'm so blah physically. Mikey's a great hubby. When he sees the tears start to come on occasion, he just takes me in his arms and holds me, and then life is ok again. He's swell. I think other than being tired, being clumsy and forgetful drive me the most crazy. I do try to take a good walk mostly everyday, which helps with energy and being tired; however, I don't like feeling like I'm incapable of pouring and eating my cereal or carrying my books bags! This is a little unnerving when I think about taking care of a newborn infant. I'm counting on that mothering, non clumsy, instinct to kick in!
So that's a recap of what it's been like so far. Keep in mind I'm super ecstatic to be at this place. I'm excited to feel the baby move so that this all feels more real than just a symptom in my body. We are going to find out what we are having at 20 weeks. The end of April cannot come soon enough! Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and baby in all of this!
Monday, March 23, 2009
How our baby's growing!
Our growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. There's not much for the baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds.Saturday, March 14, 2009
Velcro for a good cause
Last night was the official St. Baldricks shaving of heads in raising funds to go toward kids with cancer. It was definitely entertaining to watch as people (male and female, old and young) had their hair (pony tails included) cut and shaved all off!
Mikey's head now feels like velcro!
The event took place at the Train Museum here in town. The hairstylists made it so fun and lively as well as the crowd that applauded, hooted, and hollered (Okie terms?) cheering all the participators on! Nice job to all the DFRA people and their fams for all their support and lack of hair for a great cause!
Here's my hubby BEFORE...
... and AFTER
Mikey's head now feels like velcro!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I'm Shaving My Head
You heard it right - I'm shaving my head in solidarity with children who have cancer and typically lose their hair during treatment, while raising critical funds for childhood cancer research!
In the US, more children die of childhood cancer than any other disease. Please make a donation on my behalf to support childhood cancer research so that all children diagnosed with cancer will have a better chance for a cure.
To make a donation, click on the link below or cash/check can be given directly to me
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.php?ParticipantKey=2009-334211#
Thank you for your Support !!
Michael
In the US, more children die of childhood cancer than any other disease. Please make a donation on my behalf to support childhood cancer research so that all children diagnosed with cancer will have a better chance for a cure.
To make a donation, click on the link below or cash/check can be given directly to me
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.php?ParticipantKey=2009-334211#
Thank you for your Support !!
Michael
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tankful Tursday (yes the "h" is left out for fun)!
I (Steph) am digging the idea of listing a few things I'm thankful for TODAY!
* I'm thankful for people who research health and medicine. Because of these people, there's so much to learn about a developing pregnancy. I'm so very appreciative for the people that have taken the time and interest to research and write about it all. Information has come a long way.
* I'm thankful for Sonic coneys and chocolate shakes that feed my prego cravings for that apparently scrumptious (at the moment) unhealthy fast food. One more week, and it's time to crack down again on the eating habits :)
* I'm thankful for great conversation. I'm definitely a one-on-one kind of gal and had a great chit chat with a co-worker/friend this morning. I feel refreshed with those people you can be real and "unchurchy" with.
* I'm thankful for the community and love I still feel from my far away Oklahoma crew since we've announced our pregnancy. They've all sent ecards, emails, and Facebook congrats that have made me feel very loved, not to mention they LOVE my hubby. Not that our Durango crew hasn't shown excitement and care, it's just encouraging to STILL have such a connection from a place that was home for so long.
* I'm thankful for my Nanny Carol's weekly emails. We love to chit chat about anything and everything. It brightens both of our days to keep up with each other.
* I'm thankful for my husband's work shift. The people on this shift work awesopme as a team together, even cooking and eating together. They're almost like a second family in some ways. For me that is very important to know that they really do look out for each other and work hard at taking great, efficient care of people that need help. This is a comfort to know when it comes to his type of work.
* I'm thankful for Study Buddies each week that has given me an opportunity to help mentor a kid, in the 9R district, academically and build a friendship. He's a cool kid!
* I'm thankful for boundaries. I'm still learning to implement them when needed, but what a great concept to live out that helps keep some situations that happen in life in check.
* I'm immensely thankful for time. Time to learn to forgive and what forgiveness really is. Time to adjust to a wonderful new life here in Durango with my husband. Time to learn to build new friendships. Time to relax and have fun!
* I'm thankful for the small group we've connected with. It's perfect for Mike and I both to get to know people better in a small setting. It's great because these people are quality people who love to have fun!
*Lastly, I'm thankful for canned peaches. They are my FAVORITE at the moment when it comes to fruit...num, num!
* I'm thankful for people who research health and medicine. Because of these people, there's so much to learn about a developing pregnancy. I'm so very appreciative for the people that have taken the time and interest to research and write about it all. Information has come a long way.
* I'm thankful for Sonic coneys and chocolate shakes that feed my prego cravings for that apparently scrumptious (at the moment) unhealthy fast food. One more week, and it's time to crack down again on the eating habits :)
* I'm thankful for great conversation. I'm definitely a one-on-one kind of gal and had a great chit chat with a co-worker/friend this morning. I feel refreshed with those people you can be real and "unchurchy" with.
* I'm thankful for the community and love I still feel from my far away Oklahoma crew since we've announced our pregnancy. They've all sent ecards, emails, and Facebook congrats that have made me feel very loved, not to mention they LOVE my hubby. Not that our Durango crew hasn't shown excitement and care, it's just encouraging to STILL have such a connection from a place that was home for so long.
* I'm thankful for my Nanny Carol's weekly emails. We love to chit chat about anything and everything. It brightens both of our days to keep up with each other.
* I'm thankful for my husband's work shift. The people on this shift work awesopme as a team together, even cooking and eating together. They're almost like a second family in some ways. For me that is very important to know that they really do look out for each other and work hard at taking great, efficient care of people that need help. This is a comfort to know when it comes to his type of work.
* I'm thankful for Study Buddies each week that has given me an opportunity to help mentor a kid, in the 9R district, academically and build a friendship. He's a cool kid!
* I'm thankful for boundaries. I'm still learning to implement them when needed, but what a great concept to live out that helps keep some situations that happen in life in check.
* I'm immensely thankful for time. Time to learn to forgive and what forgiveness really is. Time to adjust to a wonderful new life here in Durango with my husband. Time to learn to build new friendships. Time to relax and have fun!
* I'm thankful for the small group we've connected with. It's perfect for Mike and I both to get to know people better in a small setting. It's great because these people are quality people who love to have fun!
*Lastly, I'm thankful for canned peaches. They are my FAVORITE at the moment when it comes to fruit...num, num!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Our little Grape
Inside of my beautiful wife grows our newest member of Team Krupa. Our tiny child is 10 weeks along and is the size of a grape. It's really amazing that as small as our child is- fingers, finger nails, and hair are developing this week.
Okay so if you haven't figured it out from the first sentences...
WE ARE PREGNANT (and yes this was planned)!!!
Stephanie and I are absolutely ecstatic to bring this little one into the world. We have known for oh about nine weeks now but decided to wait to announce it until we heard a heartbeat. So this morning at Stephanie's first check-up, we were able to hear a very loud and strong heartbeat. What an amazing sound. It is completely awesome that the sound of thump, thump, thump, thump at a rate of 180 beats a minute can tear the eyes up instantly in pure joy. We feel so very blessed that God has given us a precious gift and is allowing us to be parents.
What a joy it will be!!!
Okay so if you haven't figured it out from the first sentences...
WE ARE PREGNANT (and yes this was planned)!!!
Stephanie and I are absolutely ecstatic to bring this little one into the world. We have known for oh about nine weeks now but decided to wait to announce it until we heard a heartbeat. So this morning at Stephanie's first check-up, we were able to hear a very loud and strong heartbeat. What an amazing sound. It is completely awesome that the sound of thump, thump, thump, thump at a rate of 180 beats a minute can tear the eyes up instantly in pure joy. We feel so very blessed that God has given us a precious gift and is allowing us to be parents.
What a joy it will be!!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Oh how I LOVE, LOVE...
Happy Valentine's Day!
Mikey is on shift today. What better way to surprise him with a bloggy note of how I love him? Silly? Yes! It's been a challenging week, and I hope it makes him smile today. Here's for you my Mikeys-what I love, love about you and us!
- That we are always learning to communicate in better/fun ways with each other. Sometimes it seems like we're speaking Navajo. Lucky for us, we are both fluent :) ...
So my Mikeys, consider this a modern way (blog) of professing my love for you. I love you today and forever!
-Stephy
PS-Had to do this song. It reminds me of such a good turning point for us
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